After going to Ecuador in 2002 I pretty much just got into the routine of life. That is until on a camping trip one September with my small group, one person was joking about the kids seeming to be digging a hole to China. That is when Allyson said "speaking of China". She proceeded to tell about being led to adopt a little boy from China. Watching them go through everything that that entailed got me thinking about the call in my heart again. I wish I could begin to tell you about the Robbins journey in finding their little boy in China, but you'll just have to trust me that it is a God written all over it story (it is a story you'd need to hear from them).
In late October of 2005 my heart really was stirring with all of my old thoughts again. I recalled looking into teaching overseas a couple of years earlier, but still always thought I needed to get out of debt first and that God would bring me a partner to go with. But I prayed and made the request to God, I said I would give Him until I was 38 and if I was still single then I would go. Looking back now I am sure that God had a good laugh with that one. However, I NEVER told anyone this at first.
I ended up house sitting for the Robbins while they went to China to meet and bring home Jack. Through out all of November I was dealing with some other disappointments in my life and really praying about what God would have me do about the stirring in my heart. I spent a lot of time thinking over the past and all of the growth that had taken place in my life. I really recalled The Momentus Breakthrough Training (www.accd.org) I went through back in April of 1999 and how during one exercise I remember so many saying they felt I was on a journey but looking for the road map. I think I once again felt like that.
I continued to pray even after the Robbins returned home from China. I felt good about knowing that I had a plan. I would teach where I was at another year and wait and see if God would bring my husband into my life and then I would finally go and do something.
Then in the beginning of December I got a chance to talk to a friend who had told me that God had been moving on his heart and that he had felt a call to go to Thailand for years and was finally going to go. I know I was crying as we talked, I mentioned to him that I had had a similar calling myself (and boy did I know God was bringing it all back to my heart at that moment). It was amazing to hear about David's 6 week trip and all that God had done. It is funny writing about it now, because I took the step in placing my resume with ACSI about five days after his return.
Between hearing about his journey and going through the process of my friends adopting, plus every time I went to their house and saw that little boy- I felt soooo ready to do something.
Then the week of February 13-17,2006, happened. It was a long rough week. I think I was late to everything and so many things went wrong. I spent a lot of the week praying, crying, feeling unsure, and just questioning so many things. This was a week that I am pretty sure I cried out to God about sending at least once a day if not more. Then on February 17, all I wanted to do was to get to work for staff devotions and have the women I work with pray for me. I walked into the door right as they were saying amen. I lost it, but they did come and encircle me and pray. After walking out I was talking to the high school teacher. Some how everything about being single and wanting to really do something for God, well to really be used by Him, came up. She asked why I just didn't do it. I had told her that I had felt God saying wait!!! Somehow though by talking to her I really questioned whether the wait I thought I had always heard was God's or mine out of fear. My heart stirred and my mind was on a roller coaster the rest of the day. After school is when it really all came full circle. I had a student who needed to stay after to finish something. His dad came up to the room to wait for him and began asking me questions. He asked where I lived, if I was married, had a family, etc.... Then he said "you know you should think about going overseas to another country to work. You could make so much more money and the experience would be great". This man had NO IDEA what had been going on in my life since October (actually Saturday, October 22,2005, to be exact- and some of you know why that was so significant a day in my life).
During my drive home that night I decided I needed to just inquire and start seeing about the possibility for after I turned 38 (for any of you reading this who don't know my age, you should probably know that I will be turning 37 at the end of May this year, 2006). My heart had always wanted to go back to the Ukraine after my mission trip there, but I had also wanted to go to Thailand since the summer of 2002 when I was a camp counselor. So I went to ACSI's website, www.acsi.org and just started looking around, before I knew it I was applying to a job directly in Bangkok, Thailand. I then figured I could post my resume on the site. I thought if the wait was really coming from God then He would close all doors, but if it was from me He would still move and His plan would prevail (Proverbs 19:21, Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purposes that prevail). I had figured I could take the step and that God was still the one in control, sure I could make anything I wanted happened since I knew there was a need for teachers but I wanted God's will for my life first and foremost.
So that night I posted my information and found out that it would go out to all the schools on March 1, so I just prayed and waited. I did get an email from the school I directly applied to in Bangkok and they had already hired the positions they were looking for for the 2006-2007 school year but would keep me in mind for the following year(which was ok because it was when I really was wanting to go anyways). I think I will stop here for tonight and finish with the most incredible part of what God has been doing over the past two months with this journey for later this week.
Sunday, April 30, 2006
Saturday, April 29, 2006
The Very Beginning
I was going to start journaling online once I got to Seoul, but God has been moving so much in my life the past 2 months that I realized I need to begin writing now so that I would have each moment that is so significant recorded. God is just so amazing and it has been unbelievable to look back and see how this all has unfolded and gotten me to this point. I sit writing knowing that in three months I will be leaving for a year of teaching at Centennial Christian School in Seoul, South Korea(Their website is www.ccslions.com).
I could begin with saying that the whole journey began on May 31, 1969. That would mean I would have to go back to the beginning of my life. So I will just fast forward to when I felt I was first being called to do something like this. I just never knew when it would happen or how it would look.
It was the summer of 1997. I had been living in Nashville, Tennessee for almost two years. Actually, the summer of 1996 was my first summer jubilee with the youth of Christ Church and jubilee's message was about the price you were willing to pay in order to follow Christ. The girls in my cabin where amazing and I shared with them the price I was willing to pay (Thanks Dave & Debbie for putting me into that cabin and for challenging me so much). I wanted more than anything to be married someday and raise a family, but if my price was to never have that in order to follow Christ then I was willing to pay it. I'd say that was really when it all began. But back to the summer of 1997, I had been praying that God would show me where He wanted my life to go and what I was to do for Him. My heart had always been for children and any time I saw something on TV or read something about an orphan my heart would ache and I would always cry. I questioned and asked God if this was my passion and where my heart was to be led. I had been praying for a while and never told anyone else what had been on my heart. On Sunday,June 22,1997, I was reading "Our Daily Bread". It was actually the devotion from the previous day. This piece spoke so much to my heart. It was titled "Help the Childern", if you'd like to read it yourself you can go to www.ourdailybread.org and look in the archives. The two parts I had highlighted from it were:
According to one estimate, 100 million children worldwide have no mom or dad to give them a meal and a place to call home. These kids are outcasts and treated as trash to be discarded. It went on to conclude with: The hurting children of the world need two things: First, the gospel of Jesus, who told us that in helping them we would be doing His work (Mark 9:37). And second, they need the hope that comes from someone who cares enough to feed, clothe, and shelter them. I so knew that it was meant for me that day. It spoke directly to where my heart was and I thought 'I can give those two things, Lord.'
I still kept on praying and had only shared what was going on at this point with one other person. I still didn't know what it would all mean and where it would lead or even what I'd do with His message to me, but I prayed. Then on July 31,1997, I was reading "Our Daily Bread". This time it was about a family, the Bartells, who had raised their family and were ready to retire. They decided to sell everything and move to Lima, Peru, where they opened up a house to 20 orphans. I felt God was speaking again, and knew He had put something in my heart but this devotion made me realize I'd have no idea when it would take place or yet would it look like the Bartells?
I still continued to pray and then God really spoke to me a third time on this matter in August at summer jubilee, again. Three people had come with us that did not really know anything about me then. They were having a prayer room where they keep praying for the youth. The girls in my cabin (by the way I should mention most of the girls were from the same family that were in my cabin and that they were ALL adopted- God still speaking to me?) they wanted to go for prayer and wanted me to go with them. Little did I know that God was going to speak directly into my life from the mouths of three who didn't know me at that time (However,they know me now. I love you Mig, Rick, & Molly). I didn't go for prayer, but Stephen sure knew that God was preparing my heart for something (another good story). Those three spoke things and prayed things that I hadn't told anyone I was thinking or praying about. They all confirmed everything that was on my heart and that God had already been speaking to me about in my time with Him.
From this point I always thought about it and wondered what would come of this call, but never felt a pull to pursue anything. However, I believe that from there up to here has all been preparing time. I went through a lot of healing the rest of my years in Nashville, as well as much spiritual growth. I went on my first mission trip to the Ukraine in July of 1998 and then moved to Texas to work at a ranch/home for at risk youth/children in September of 1999. Looking back they were both places on my journey to prepare and get me to here. I then moved to Colorado in July of 2000 and began to pray about doing something big with orphans or anything with children. I was still working at a home for at risk children at the time.
God spoke again thru "Our Daily Bread" when I was seeking Him in prayer for some kind of answer. It was Sunday,October 8,2000, titled "The Value of a Child", it was an adoption story of a family that took place in late 1997. I will just write what I highlighted at its conclusion (but you know you can go read in its entirety): What a reminder of the pricelessness of a child! Each one is worth whatever it takes to care for him or her properly. Whether the child is a member of our family or a child we don't know- each is precious to God. Each needs love. Each needs to learn about Jesus, the One who by words and example taught us the value of a child (Mark 9:36-37).
The next time I remember God speaking loudly was on my mission trip to Ecuador in September of 2002. One day I was working pretty much alone and praying while I was listening to the children having an English lesson. My heart so started to turn and stir again.
Through all of what I have so far written, well I know since June 1997 there hasn't been a week that has gone by where I haven't cried out saying 'God here I am, send me. I'll sell it all tomorrow and GO if You just say so.' And even sometimes it has been daily, or even an hourly cry. I will end here for now and tomorrow begin with the most recent stirring of my heart and then the steps I began two months or so ago.
I could begin with saying that the whole journey began on May 31, 1969. That would mean I would have to go back to the beginning of my life. So I will just fast forward to when I felt I was first being called to do something like this. I just never knew when it would happen or how it would look.
It was the summer of 1997. I had been living in Nashville, Tennessee for almost two years. Actually, the summer of 1996 was my first summer jubilee with the youth of Christ Church and jubilee's message was about the price you were willing to pay in order to follow Christ. The girls in my cabin where amazing and I shared with them the price I was willing to pay (Thanks Dave & Debbie for putting me into that cabin and for challenging me so much). I wanted more than anything to be married someday and raise a family, but if my price was to never have that in order to follow Christ then I was willing to pay it. I'd say that was really when it all began. But back to the summer of 1997, I had been praying that God would show me where He wanted my life to go and what I was to do for Him. My heart had always been for children and any time I saw something on TV or read something about an orphan my heart would ache and I would always cry. I questioned and asked God if this was my passion and where my heart was to be led. I had been praying for a while and never told anyone else what had been on my heart. On Sunday,June 22,1997, I was reading "Our Daily Bread". It was actually the devotion from the previous day. This piece spoke so much to my heart. It was titled "Help the Childern", if you'd like to read it yourself you can go to www.ourdailybread.org and look in the archives. The two parts I had highlighted from it were:
According to one estimate, 100 million children worldwide have no mom or dad to give them a meal and a place to call home. These kids are outcasts and treated as trash to be discarded. It went on to conclude with: The hurting children of the world need two things: First, the gospel of Jesus, who told us that in helping them we would be doing His work (Mark 9:37). And second, they need the hope that comes from someone who cares enough to feed, clothe, and shelter them. I so knew that it was meant for me that day. It spoke directly to where my heart was and I thought 'I can give those two things, Lord.'
I still kept on praying and had only shared what was going on at this point with one other person. I still didn't know what it would all mean and where it would lead or even what I'd do with His message to me, but I prayed. Then on July 31,1997, I was reading "Our Daily Bread". This time it was about a family, the Bartells, who had raised their family and were ready to retire. They decided to sell everything and move to Lima, Peru, where they opened up a house to 20 orphans. I felt God was speaking again, and knew He had put something in my heart but this devotion made me realize I'd have no idea when it would take place or yet would it look like the Bartells?
I still continued to pray and then God really spoke to me a third time on this matter in August at summer jubilee, again. Three people had come with us that did not really know anything about me then. They were having a prayer room where they keep praying for the youth. The girls in my cabin (by the way I should mention most of the girls were from the same family that were in my cabin and that they were ALL adopted- God still speaking to me?) they wanted to go for prayer and wanted me to go with them. Little did I know that God was going to speak directly into my life from the mouths of three who didn't know me at that time (However,they know me now. I love you Mig, Rick, & Molly). I didn't go for prayer, but Stephen sure knew that God was preparing my heart for something (another good story). Those three spoke things and prayed things that I hadn't told anyone I was thinking or praying about. They all confirmed everything that was on my heart and that God had already been speaking to me about in my time with Him.
From this point I always thought about it and wondered what would come of this call, but never felt a pull to pursue anything. However, I believe that from there up to here has all been preparing time. I went through a lot of healing the rest of my years in Nashville, as well as much spiritual growth. I went on my first mission trip to the Ukraine in July of 1998 and then moved to Texas to work at a ranch/home for at risk youth/children in September of 1999. Looking back they were both places on my journey to prepare and get me to here. I then moved to Colorado in July of 2000 and began to pray about doing something big with orphans or anything with children. I was still working at a home for at risk children at the time.
God spoke again thru "Our Daily Bread" when I was seeking Him in prayer for some kind of answer. It was Sunday,October 8,2000, titled "The Value of a Child", it was an adoption story of a family that took place in late 1997. I will just write what I highlighted at its conclusion (but you know you can go read in its entirety): What a reminder of the pricelessness of a child! Each one is worth whatever it takes to care for him or her properly. Whether the child is a member of our family or a child we don't know- each is precious to God. Each needs love. Each needs to learn about Jesus, the One who by words and example taught us the value of a child (Mark 9:36-37).
The next time I remember God speaking loudly was on my mission trip to Ecuador in September of 2002. One day I was working pretty much alone and praying while I was listening to the children having an English lesson. My heart so started to turn and stir again.
Through all of what I have so far written, well I know since June 1997 there hasn't been a week that has gone by where I haven't cried out saying 'God here I am, send me. I'll sell it all tomorrow and GO if You just say so.' And even sometimes it has been daily, or even an hourly cry. I will end here for now and tomorrow begin with the most recent stirring of my heart and then the steps I began two months or so ago.
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