Tears

Today I woke up with a very sore neck, along with the pain I have been experiencing in my chest, which most likely is my upper right lung.

Oh, and tears that keep flowing so freely.......and I don't know why?

If it is like any other time in my history on my journeys with this adventure called life, then I would say that it was God preparing my heart for something big.

The moment I recall when I felt it like this the strongest was at Summer Jubilee 1997. Allyson, you wondered as to why my tears that flow so easily were not present before I left....they are definitely being made up for now.

Maybe these tears are flowing because my heart is so full, full with both Joy and heaviness. I am so overwhelmed with emotions and thoughts, my mind and heart are always pondering things. I am also sure this is why I am not sleeping very well.

Maybe these tears are the way my spirit is allowing me to release it all and give it over to God.

Though I do embrace the moments of the day that are met with the Risen Christ.....

My class and their precious hearts, I smile just when they walk into the room. They asked a million times to go and spread some of God's love to others. I felt their JOY.

Or the moment when Shou-Liang (pronounced sho-young) was angry. I hugged him and told him that Jesus and I loved him. I asked him if he knew how excited I was to have him in my class next year. You should have seen the way his anger turned into a small smile. My heart was warm.

Or when Sammy, who used to call me 'old lady', said "See you Mom". I am playing his mom in the Christmas Program next Friday. I must admit being called mom, had a nice ring to it.

And then tonight, when Momma W said "Your problem is that you are more homesick than you think".....those tears started to flow again because her words hit right in the center of my heart. I guess I am!!

I was also encouraged with God's Word:
Job 23: 10-17
But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold. My feet have closely followed his steps; I have kept to his way without turning aside. I have not departed from the commands, of his lips; I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread. But he stands alone, and who can oppose him? He does whatever he pleases. He carries out his decree against me, and many such plans he still has in store. That is why I am terrified before him; when I think of all this, I fear him. God has made my heart faint; the Almighty has terrified me. Yet I am not silenced by the darkness, by the thick darkness that covers my face.