The gates have swung open....

I sat down earlier tonight and started to write about the urgent, serious prayer request I sent a week ago. Yet, I couldn't put words to the page again. So I gave it a title and went about doing some things around the house. Then I watched a movie I had sitting by the TV. Movies are scarce, a few were left by previous teachers. I hadn't seen "The Postman" yet and I was drawn to it tonight.

The movie was about 'hope'. Wow, is all I can say to how awesome GOD is. It truly was HIM who prompted my heart to watch it. It is what I needed and now I know I need to share. Maybe you'll see why it was GOD's perfect timing in watching this movie after you read this.

I was going to begin this entry with the fact that I have never felt or experienced so much evil in my life. I came home today from a half a day of classes feeling very heavy, neck pain, just plain filthy, wanting to vomit, and feeling like I needed to clean or pull something from myself. This is something I have felt in the past, but not since Momentus in April 1999.

Last week, when I sent out the prayer request it was because the gates of hell had swung wide open here. Someone in our midst led the enemy right in. I saw soooo many hearts broken and/or devastated last week. I won't lie, he even tried to get at me................Praise JESUS, I was able to stand strong because of HIM. I know it was because GOD had sent the love that HE had the week before. HE knew what was coming, heck the night before I even received an email that had the words "Fight the good fight" in it. Definitely GOD preparing my heart.

Let me simply list those things: Two students have been kicked out of our school, a teachers heart was broken because they are going to get rid of one of her students (who happens to be a child of another teacher and who will have no 'hope' if put into a Korean school), and another teacher was made to feel guilty over sharing their heart.

I was the next on the list, I went to share my heart about not going on the retreat and I was attacked by many words, which I don't feel I need to mention here. The whole time I kept hearing the same words come out of my mouth and the word "I" stood out very loud and clear. I kept thinking this isn't me talking, it has to be the LORD. For this isn't about me, but HIM.

The minute after I felt the urgency to send out the prayer request another teacher came up to share something about their child and what the school was trying to do. Once again I witnessed a heart being broken.

In the afternoon when I was sharing with a friend here, they had said the same thing about it being GOD who spoke the "I" and the broken hearts surrounding us. And my third confirmation was that night when talking to a friend back in the States, who isn't here to witness or see, but said the EXACT same thing about it being GOD who was speaking, about GOD's heart, and about the spiritual warfare we are under here.

To top my week off, at church on Sunday Pastor even spoke these words "the gates of hell will prevail if you stand against it alone, but it can NOT prevail against the true body of believers (the church)". He said,"When more than one are gathered together- WATCH OUT!"

This week has only gotten worse. This morning is just one example, someone shared about the tragedy at Virginia Tech by putting down Americans and blaming them for it. One person had to leave the room. I should have done that as well. I can't even describe what was going on inside of me, I wanted to get out of there as fast as I could, but at the same time wanted to stay to hear what was going to be said. Actually one teacher tried to defend Americans and Christians.

During prayer this morning GOD had me go to and read Proverbs 15 and 16. Two verses that stand out are: 15:3 The eyes of the Lord are everywhere, keeping watch on the wicked and the good. And then, 16:30 He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil. The first is a reminder that God is watching it all and the second, well, I saw someone wink with pursed lips.........and you'll have to trust me that I can not share what it is my heart is telling me about what I saw. I just know GOD was speaking!

I know I have written so much already, and yet I haven't even begun to truly share all that is going on around me.

Right now, I am reminded again of words spoken on Sunday. Pastor stated that the first question we ask when something bad happens is WHY? However, do we ask that question when something good happens? We live in a world of Cause and Effect. He gave an example of a rock being dropped into water. It reminded me then, and again now of how true those words are to what is going on around me. He ended with saying that GOD's love is powerfully reflected in HIS body and that anytime GOD speaks we need to respond. In my notes, I added Love in Action, 1 John 3:18.

I saw love in action so often at home. I can't wait to get back and be a part of God's love being reflected again. I miss that soooo much here, besides in my classroom.

I'll end with the words I hear most often in my day, Psalm 106:1:
Praise the Lord.
Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.

Boy, those Fourth Graders have it RIGHT!