I have finally finished reading "Sex God" by Rob Bell. The rest of the chapters really confirmed so much that GOD has been speaking in my heart. They were encouraging, and though at times I felt like he was giving men a bad rap so to speak...............they were very good. I choose not to write about any more chapters because you need to read it and see how GOD speaks to you through Bell's words.
I would really recommend reading this book if you get a chance (by the way, chapter 5 has remained my favorite, though chapter 6 was up there too).
I have now picked up "Soul Cravings" by Erwin McManus. Stating that, I would ask for your prayers. Every time I have read one of his books I have been so blessed and encouraged, yet came under a lot of spiritual warfare as well.
I look with anticipation to how GOD will speak through this book. For I long to see HIM, the RISEN CHRIST in everything.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
RISK
Wow, chapter 5 of "Sex God" has to be my favorite so far. Rob Bell starts the chapter by using a story from a junior high dance. Bring back any memories for any of you? You know when the girls stand on one side and the boys on the other side of the room. When one decides to take that great "risk" by walking across the room.
He writes: "Anytime we move toward another in any way, we are taking a risk. A risk that [they] may say no. Our gesture may not get returned. Our invitation may be rejected. Our love may not be reciprocated."
GOD created us to have freedom to love who we want, or to not love anybody we want. It is a risk HE takes in creating and loving us. HE will risk knowing that we may hand it back unwanted. Oh, how HIS Heart must break.
Bell states: "The story the Bible tells is of a living being who loves and who continues to love even when that love is not returned. A God who refuses to override our freedom, who respects our power to decide whether to reciprocate, a God who lets us make the next move."
He continues on in a section titled, "Love Is..." Love is handing over your heart and risking that it will be handed back unwanted. Love is giving another the power to choose. Love is giving away you. Love is surrendering.
I think this is and will be my favorite chapter because it is about risking. It's an invitation to RISK.
One of the most encouraging words I have every received came in a card from one of my dearest and most loved friends as I left for Korea.
She wrote: "In spite of your tears that flow freely, you are one of the strongest people I know. Being able to love others as you do and give of yourself to them as you have, requires great strength. That is because it involves taking a risk. Risks which you freely take knowing there may be painful consequences."
As I read this chapter I recalled her words. I had saved her card in my Bible. It is not my strength she is talking about. It isn't me who risks, for I know the pain has and is too much for me to bear, especially knowing how many times I have risked and handed my heart out to have it returned unwanted. The only way I could have done that and continue to do that is through, in, and with CHRIST JESUS, my SAVIOR, my EVERYTHING.
Though GOD knows what it is like, HE keeps Loving, keeps Offering, and keeps Risking.
If HE can continue to Risk, then maybe we can find a reason to Risk too!
He writes: "Anytime we move toward another in any way, we are taking a risk. A risk that [they] may say no. Our gesture may not get returned. Our invitation may be rejected. Our love may not be reciprocated."
GOD created us to have freedom to love who we want, or to not love anybody we want. It is a risk HE takes in creating and loving us. HE will risk knowing that we may hand it back unwanted. Oh, how HIS Heart must break.
Bell states: "The story the Bible tells is of a living being who loves and who continues to love even when that love is not returned. A God who refuses to override our freedom, who respects our power to decide whether to reciprocate, a God who lets us make the next move."
He continues on in a section titled, "Love Is..." Love is handing over your heart and risking that it will be handed back unwanted. Love is giving another the power to choose. Love is giving away you. Love is surrendering.
I think this is and will be my favorite chapter because it is about risking. It's an invitation to RISK.
One of the most encouraging words I have every received came in a card from one of my dearest and most loved friends as I left for Korea.
She wrote: "In spite of your tears that flow freely, you are one of the strongest people I know. Being able to love others as you do and give of yourself to them as you have, requires great strength. That is because it involves taking a risk. Risks which you freely take knowing there may be painful consequences."
As I read this chapter I recalled her words. I had saved her card in my Bible. It is not my strength she is talking about. It isn't me who risks, for I know the pain has and is too much for me to bear, especially knowing how many times I have risked and handed my heart out to have it returned unwanted. The only way I could have done that and continue to do that is through, in, and with CHRIST JESUS, my SAVIOR, my EVERYTHING.
Though GOD knows what it is like, HE keeps Loving, keeps Offering, and keeps Risking.
If HE can continue to Risk, then maybe we can find a reason to Risk too!
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
Always when....
....you need HIM, HE is right on time. Especially with a timely word that not only encourages but touches somewhere deep inside and speaks to your heart.
The words spoken in "Our Daily Bread" and "God Calling" could not have spoken more to my heart right now. They were BOTH on the same topic. They used Matthew 11:28.
Then I have to add that "Living the Message" just added and confirmed the way the other two spoke to my heart. As well as, how GOD has been speaking through the book I am reading. They just all fit. It referenced John 8:31-32 and said:
The claim of the gospel is that it puts us in touch with reality- all of it, not just a part. It puts us in touch with God who creates and with the people and world He created. It puts us in touch with a Christ who redeems and the people whom He loves. It puts us in touch with our feelings of hope and despair, with our thoughts of doubt and faith, with our acts of virtue and vice. It puts us in touch with Everything, visible and invisible, right and wrong, good and evil. It puts us in touch....
The words spoken in "Our Daily Bread" and "God Calling" could not have spoken more to my heart right now. They were BOTH on the same topic. They used Matthew 11:28.
Then I have to add that "Living the Message" just added and confirmed the way the other two spoke to my heart. As well as, how GOD has been speaking through the book I am reading. They just all fit. It referenced John 8:31-32 and said:
The claim of the gospel is that it puts us in touch with reality- all of it, not just a part. It puts us in touch with God who creates and with the people and world He created. It puts us in touch with a Christ who redeems and the people whom He loves. It puts us in touch with our feelings of hope and despair, with our thoughts of doubt and faith, with our acts of virtue and vice. It puts us in touch with Everything, visible and invisible, right and wrong, good and evil. It puts us in touch....
Monday, August 20, 2007
"Sex God" Chapter 4
This chapter to me is about 'contentment' as well as the idea of 'wanting more'.
Are you content with where you are? Where life has taken you and is taking you? Are you content with who you are? Have you ever asked 'if'? Or, do you plainly want more?....I could go on and on with these questions. Look at Adam and Eve, they wanted this one piece of fruit. They weren't content with what they had. They thought they were missing out on something and wanted more. Look where it got them and us for that matter.
Rob Bell wrote:
The idea creeps into our head and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.
The "if" means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space- content and at peace- we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off.
Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It's not about getting rid of desire. It's about giving ourselves to bigger and better and more powerful desires.
What are you channeling your energies into? Because they will go somewhere.
If they don't go into a few, select, disciplined pursuits that you are passionate about and are willing to give your life to, then they'll dissipate into all sorts of urges and cravings that won't even begin to bring the joy that the "one thing" could.
Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force. It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, something that connects you with GOD, with others, with the world.
What do you want more?
As I read these parts I thought I should be writing it in my owns words, but thought that he wrote them better than I could. So I used his words here and kept asking myself: Are you content Kimie? What is it you want more of?
The answer surprised me in a way. I am content, but then I am not. I don't feel connected is why I don't feel content. It is weird, but I feel less connected now to GOD and others than when I was away in Korea. If that makes sense. But I know it is a place where GOD wants and needs me to be at the present time. It is still a part of my journey and the path GOD is leading me down.
The bigger picture is that I AM CONTENT, but the thing that I WANT MORE.............Well, that is MORE of GOD. My heart aches and cries for more of HIM right now. I can't explain it, but I not only WANT, but NEED HIM like I feel I never have before.
Are you content with where you are? Where life has taken you and is taking you? Are you content with who you are? Have you ever asked 'if'? Or, do you plainly want more?....I could go on and on with these questions. Look at Adam and Eve, they wanted this one piece of fruit. They weren't content with what they had. They thought they were missing out on something and wanted more. Look where it got them and us for that matter.
Rob Bell wrote:
The idea creeps into our head and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.
The "if" means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space- content and at peace- we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off.
Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It's not about getting rid of desire. It's about giving ourselves to bigger and better and more powerful desires.
What are you channeling your energies into? Because they will go somewhere.
If they don't go into a few, select, disciplined pursuits that you are passionate about and are willing to give your life to, then they'll dissipate into all sorts of urges and cravings that won't even begin to bring the joy that the "one thing" could.
Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force. It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, something that connects you with GOD, with others, with the world.
What do you want more?
As I read these parts I thought I should be writing it in my owns words, but thought that he wrote them better than I could. So I used his words here and kept asking myself: Are you content Kimie? What is it you want more of?
The answer surprised me in a way. I am content, but then I am not. I don't feel connected is why I don't feel content. It is weird, but I feel less connected now to GOD and others than when I was away in Korea. If that makes sense. But I know it is a place where GOD wants and needs me to be at the present time. It is still a part of my journey and the path GOD is leading me down.
The bigger picture is that I AM CONTENT, but the thing that I WANT MORE.............Well, that is MORE of GOD. My heart aches and cries for more of HIM right now. I can't explain it, but I not only WANT, but NEED HIM like I feel I never have before.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Trust...
This is something that was given to me and I shared with others four years ago today. It is a great source of encouragement as I think about the words I have heard GOD speak to me in the past. And reminded of the hope and faith I have in TRUSTING in HIM. I know many think I am crazy for waiting and believing and saying I know as I do, but this is my hearts cry and I trust GOD. HE spoke to me about my future back in Bali and I TRUST what I heard HIM say. Then at the end of July HE spoke again by using Habakkuk 2:3. How can I not wait on and trust in HIM? So here is what was shared with me four years ago this day..........and yes, I am STILL WAITING ON HIM, and him.
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone...to have a deep soul relationship with another...to be loved thoroughly and exclusive. But God to a Christian says NO, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone...with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me...to having an intensively personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found and only then will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing..one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best, Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You must wait. That's all. My timing is perfect for you. Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or what I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up at me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anything you would dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time). Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is thus perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me. I AM EL SHADI (Most loving and almighty). Believe and be satisfied.
'For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord. Plan to give you hope and a future...You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' Jeremiah 29:11,13
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.' Proverbs 3:5-6
I also found this where I had the above encouragement saved. I reread it tonight and found it to be a source of encouragement and reminding about what TRUST in HIM looks like. It was also shared with me four years ago on August 16, 2003. So I am going to add it as well:
Been Thinking About: What Trust Looks Like
A monthly article by RBC Ministries President Mart De Haan
What does trust look like when we can't explain our trouble, or see beyond it?
Listening to others as they try to show faith in crisis can be confusing. Some say they are "believing God" for a job, restored health, a reconciled marriage, or the return of a prodigal. Others say reliance on Him means accepting that His ways are not necessarily our ways.
In the waiting room of prayer and helplessness, I've concluded that questions about what it means to trust God can be almost as troubling as the problem itself. I've also discovered that it is for those struggles that the wisdom of the Bible has been given to us.
Don't be too hard on yourself. The most godly men and women of the past were deeply disturbed by the crises of their lives. King David wouldn't eat or be comforted as he pleaded with God for the life of his dying child (2 Samuel 12:16-17). Even though David was a man after God's own heart, the songs and groans of his life reflect recurring fear and despair (Psalm 6:1-7). Job's experience was similar. In the dark nights of his loss, his first expressions of trust turned to bitter anguish (Job 3:1-26). Then there was childless Hannah. Her prayers for a baby were so deep and emotional that her priest accused her of being drunk (1 Samuel 1:13-15). Even the apostle Paul had "great heaviness and continual grief" for unsaved family and friends (Romans 9:2). Together they show us that trust can cry, and groan, and even doubt.
Expect to be misunderstood by others. In times of profound loss and concern, even our best friends will try to make sense of what has happened to us. They may forget that people do not suffer in proportion to their wrongs. Some pay quickly for their mistakes. Others do not. Some suffer for being foolish while others are punished for being wise (Psalm 73:1-14).
Such irony complicated the ancient tragedy of Job. When his friends heard him express bitterness and despair, they wrongly assumed that he was suffering for a secret sin (Job 4:1-9). Although they came to his side to divide his pain, they ended up multiplying it (Job 16:2).
Don't be afraid to be honest with God. An elderly Abraham laughed at the absurdity of God's promise to make him the father of many nations. Jacob wrestled with his Lord over the uncertainty of what lay ahead. David openly expressed his despair and helplessness in circumstances beyond his control. Job accused God of being unfair.
When heaven seemed to be ignoring them, they said so. When they thought they had an argument, they expressed it. They learned to trust God in the dark valleys of their doubts.
Take one step at a time. Sometimes it helps to break the journey down into small steps. Jesus encouraged us not to worry about tomorrow since today has enough of its own problems (Matthew 6:34). In the weakness of turbulent and unsteady emotions we may need to settle for short steps, the wisdom of the moment (James 1:6), and the present reassurance of the one who says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).
Don't be self-destructive. In times of disappointment or distress we need to avoid quick fixes that are harmful or self-destructive. None of us can afford addictions that kill the pain for the moment but complicate our problems in the long run. While there is a time for sedatives and pain killers (Proverbs 31:6-7), they can be abused at great risk to ourselves and others (Proverbs 31:4-5; 20:1). We also need to ask God to help us avoid taking out our anxiety, anger, or despair on those around us. Lashing out can be its own kind of addiction.
Don't underestimate God. One of the great truths of the Bible is that when we are helpless, God is not. A wise person has said, "Of this I am sure: There is a God. And it's not me." If God doesn't answer our prayers in the time and manner that we've asked, it's because He can see what we cannot.
Joseph learned to trust God after being sold into slavery by his older brothers. When he was reunited with them later in life, he was able to say, "As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20).
Ask but don't demand. In desperate circumstances we are apt to think we know what we need from God. Like a small child who cannot be consoled, we are inclined to beg Him for what we want, when we want it. In those moments God understands our weakness and fear. Yet He is also the One who uses the depth of the Grand Canyon, the power of Niagara, or the wonder of the night sky to calm us in His presence (Job 38-41). Christian philosopher Francis Schaeffer observes, "When I am in the presence of God, it seems profoundly unbecoming to demand anything" (see Job 42).
Doubt yourself. Job finally got to the place of doubting himself more than he doubted God. After being reminded of the eternal power and infinite genius of the God of creation, he fell to his knees. From a heart that was both broken and relieved, Job said, "I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked 'who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.... I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You" (Job 42:2-6).
Father in heaven, we want to trust You. But sometimes we get so confused. Please forgive us for wanting answers so that we don't have to trust You. Thank You for being so patient with us. Please help us to have the same patience with You, as we wait to see that Your plans and timing are better than our own.
PRAISE you LORD JESUS that I am STILL WAITING ON YOU, and him. I know that some day GOD will be completely Glorified in all of this part of my journey. This journey of waiting, and when so many have doubted or felt sorry for me.........I PRAISE YOU that YOU NEVER gave up on me. That YOU, LORD JESUS, stayed true to your word. Forgive me now for my doubt when I let the world and others come in and begin to doubt what I heard from you. Forgive me when I feel the word spoken will not come to be. PRAISE YOU, that you do still love me and continue to encourage me and reminding me to TRUST in and WAIT on YOU!!
Everyone longs to give themselves completely to someone...to have a deep soul relationship with another...to be loved thoroughly and exclusive. But God to a Christian says NO, not until you are satisfied, fulfilled and content with being loved by me alone...with giving yourself totally and unreservedly to me...to having an intensively personal and unique relationship with me alone, discovering that only in me is your satisfaction to be found and only then will you be capable of the perfect human relationship that I have planned for you. I want you to stop planning, stop wishing and allow me to give you the most thrilling plan existing..one that you cannot imagine. I want you to have the best, Please allow me to bring it to you. You just keep experiencing the satisfaction that I AM. Keep listening and learning the things I tell you. You must wait. That's all. My timing is perfect for you. Don't be anxious, don't worry. Don't look around at the things others have gotten or what I've given them. Don't look at the things you think you want. You just keep looking off and away up at me, or you'll miss what I have to show you. And then, when you are ready, I'll surprise you with a love far more wonderful than anything you would dream of. You see, until you are ready and until the one I have for you is ready (I am working even at this moment to have both of you ready at the same time). Until you are both satisfied exclusively with me and the life I prepared for you, you won't be able to experience the love that exemplifies your relationship with me, and is thus perfect love. And dear one, I want you to have this most wonderful love. I want you to see in the flesh a picture of your relationship with me. I AM EL SHADI (Most loving and almighty). Believe and be satisfied.
'For I know the plan I have for you declares the Lord. Plan to give you hope and a future...You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.' Jeremiah 29:11,13
'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.' Proverbs 3:5-6
I also found this where I had the above encouragement saved. I reread it tonight and found it to be a source of encouragement and reminding about what TRUST in HIM looks like. It was also shared with me four years ago on August 16, 2003. So I am going to add it as well:
Been Thinking About: What Trust Looks Like
A monthly article by RBC Ministries President Mart De Haan
What does trust look like when we can't explain our trouble, or see beyond it?
Listening to others as they try to show faith in crisis can be confusing. Some say they are "believing God" for a job, restored health, a reconciled marriage, or the return of a prodigal. Others say reliance on Him means accepting that His ways are not necessarily our ways.
In the waiting room of prayer and helplessness, I've concluded that questions about what it means to trust God can be almost as troubling as the problem itself. I've also discovered that it is for those struggles that the wisdom of the Bible has been given to us.
Don't be too hard on yourself. The most godly men and women of the past were deeply disturbed by the crises of their lives. King David wouldn't eat or be comforted as he pleaded with God for the life of his dying child (2 Samuel 12:16-17). Even though David was a man after God's own heart, the songs and groans of his life reflect recurring fear and despair (Psalm 6:1-7). Job's experience was similar. In the dark nights of his loss, his first expressions of trust turned to bitter anguish (Job 3:1-26). Then there was childless Hannah. Her prayers for a baby were so deep and emotional that her priest accused her of being drunk (1 Samuel 1:13-15). Even the apostle Paul had "great heaviness and continual grief" for unsaved family and friends (Romans 9:2). Together they show us that trust can cry, and groan, and even doubt.
Expect to be misunderstood by others. In times of profound loss and concern, even our best friends will try to make sense of what has happened to us. They may forget that people do not suffer in proportion to their wrongs. Some pay quickly for their mistakes. Others do not. Some suffer for being foolish while others are punished for being wise (Psalm 73:1-14).
Such irony complicated the ancient tragedy of Job. When his friends heard him express bitterness and despair, they wrongly assumed that he was suffering for a secret sin (Job 4:1-9). Although they came to his side to divide his pain, they ended up multiplying it (Job 16:2).
Don't be afraid to be honest with God. An elderly Abraham laughed at the absurdity of God's promise to make him the father of many nations. Jacob wrestled with his Lord over the uncertainty of what lay ahead. David openly expressed his despair and helplessness in circumstances beyond his control. Job accused God of being unfair.
When heaven seemed to be ignoring them, they said so. When they thought they had an argument, they expressed it. They learned to trust God in the dark valleys of their doubts.
Take one step at a time. Sometimes it helps to break the journey down into small steps. Jesus encouraged us not to worry about tomorrow since today has enough of its own problems (Matthew 6:34). In the weakness of turbulent and unsteady emotions we may need to settle for short steps, the wisdom of the moment (James 1:6), and the present reassurance of the one who says, "I will never leave you nor forsake you" (Hebrews 13:5).
Don't be self-destructive. In times of disappointment or distress we need to avoid quick fixes that are harmful or self-destructive. None of us can afford addictions that kill the pain for the moment but complicate our problems in the long run. While there is a time for sedatives and pain killers (Proverbs 31:6-7), they can be abused at great risk to ourselves and others (Proverbs 31:4-5; 20:1). We also need to ask God to help us avoid taking out our anxiety, anger, or despair on those around us. Lashing out can be its own kind of addiction.
Don't underestimate God. One of the great truths of the Bible is that when we are helpless, God is not. A wise person has said, "Of this I am sure: There is a God. And it's not me." If God doesn't answer our prayers in the time and manner that we've asked, it's because He can see what we cannot.
Joseph learned to trust God after being sold into slavery by his older brothers. When he was reunited with them later in life, he was able to say, "As for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good" (Genesis 50:20).
Ask but don't demand. In desperate circumstances we are apt to think we know what we need from God. Like a small child who cannot be consoled, we are inclined to beg Him for what we want, when we want it. In those moments God understands our weakness and fear. Yet He is also the One who uses the depth of the Grand Canyon, the power of Niagara, or the wonder of the night sky to calm us in His presence (Job 38-41). Christian philosopher Francis Schaeffer observes, "When I am in the presence of God, it seems profoundly unbecoming to demand anything" (see Job 42).
Doubt yourself. Job finally got to the place of doubting himself more than he doubted God. After being reminded of the eternal power and infinite genius of the God of creation, he fell to his knees. From a heart that was both broken and relieved, Job said, "I know that You can do everything, and that no purpose of Yours can be withheld from You. You asked 'who is this who hides counsel without knowledge?' Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know.... I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees You" (Job 42:2-6).
Father in heaven, we want to trust You. But sometimes we get so confused. Please forgive us for wanting answers so that we don't have to trust You. Thank You for being so patient with us. Please help us to have the same patience with You, as we wait to see that Your plans and timing are better than our own.
PRAISE you LORD JESUS that I am STILL WAITING ON YOU, and him. I know that some day GOD will be completely Glorified in all of this part of my journey. This journey of waiting, and when so many have doubted or felt sorry for me.........I PRAISE YOU that YOU NEVER gave up on me. That YOU, LORD JESUS, stayed true to your word. Forgive me now for my doubt when I let the world and others come in and begin to doubt what I heard from you. Forgive me when I feel the word spoken will not come to be. PRAISE YOU, that you do still love me and continue to encourage me and reminding me to TRUST in and WAIT on YOU!!
Interesting
GOD is awesome. This morning's message was about connecting and community. Oh, and I should add that many chapters from "Sex God" by Rob Bell prompted many of the ideas in the Pastor's message.
So coincidence that GOD would have me read this book now and that this idea of being connected and community would be playing such a large part of my daily thoughts?
I don't think so. I think it is just GOD speaking and moving the way HE does. PRAISE JESUS!
The only other interesting part was how tears continued to flow from my eyes at different times throughout the morning. Tears that I have no explanation for. Seriously, I don't know why the tears were flowing from my eyes.
Though it did get me to think about some other times in my life when I have felt I cried for no reason, like Summer Jubilee 1997. During that time and the couple of others when it has happened it was revealed that the tears were GOD preparing my heart for something. Whether that was a word from HIM, or something else. Those tears have been a way of preparation. So maybe this is GOD preparing me for something that is to come around the corner on my path.
In last week's message, Ron spoke about how a traditional Jewish wedding's preparation of the past. How he used that in his message, would go along with this thought. He is on a three week series...........makes me look forward to the third message in the series next week.
So coincidence that GOD would have me read this book now and that this idea of being connected and community would be playing such a large part of my daily thoughts?
I don't think so. I think it is just GOD speaking and moving the way HE does. PRAISE JESUS!
The only other interesting part was how tears continued to flow from my eyes at different times throughout the morning. Tears that I have no explanation for. Seriously, I don't know why the tears were flowing from my eyes.
Though it did get me to think about some other times in my life when I have felt I cried for no reason, like Summer Jubilee 1997. During that time and the couple of others when it has happened it was revealed that the tears were GOD preparing my heart for something. Whether that was a word from HIM, or something else. Those tears have been a way of preparation. So maybe this is GOD preparing me for something that is to come around the corner on my path.
In last week's message, Ron spoke about how a traditional Jewish wedding's preparation of the past. How he used that in his message, would go along with this thought. He is on a three week series...........makes me look forward to the third message in the series next week.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
"Sex God" Chapter 2 & 3
What stood out when I read today was this idea again of connection.
Here are the parts that spoke to me from Chapter Two:
We struggle in our connection with the earth, in our connections with each other, and with being connected with ourselves....Our sexuality is all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God.
You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are....And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe.
"Sexy is when you love being you."
Here are the parts that spoke to me from Chapter Three:
When we deny the spiritual dimension to our existence, we end up living like animals. And when we deny the physical, sexual dimension to our existence, we end up living like angels.
And both ways are destructive, because God made us human.
Being fully human is our job. Thinking and laughing and arranging and creating and relating and designing and nurturing and responding and reacting and pondering when googling became a verb and wondering and exploring and meditating and acting and making long lists of verbs and calling and talking and feeling and sharing and doubting if this paragraph is ever going to end and teaching and learning and jumping on a trampoline and sighing and celebrating and dancing and turning to the person next to you and saying: "This is living."
You can make your own list because you know what it is that makes you feel alive, what it is that feeds your soul, what it is that reminds you that the goal is to be fully human. What's on your list?
As human beings, we take part through our actions in the ongoing creation of the world. The question is, What kind of world are we going to make? What kind of world will our energies create?
In a way I feel this repetition being played out in my life. Life is about connecting with GOD, connecting with others, and connecting with myself. By learning who GOD has created me to be I learn about HIM, and draw closer to HIM in a beautiful way. I just think about that letter I wrote a few years back. I was truly falling in love with GOD again in a whole new way. I still to this day long to continue to fall in love with HIM in new ways daily. Right now I hunger and thirst for more of HIM. And as I draw closer to GOD and know who it is HE has created me to be.......well, it makes me want to connect with others so that I can see HIM reflected in the beautiful creation HE has made. I do pray some day that I can have HIM here in the flesh in the form of a husband. Someone to connect with more than others and to share this journey in.
We were created to love and serve one another, but all too often we actually hurt one another. Because people hurt people. GOD is a living and breathing presence that we can experience in the life we choose to live in HIS ongoing creation. And that is the connection we all need. (This thought came as a combination from Our Daily Bread and Living the Message for today.)
So ask yourself what kind of world you are creating around you? How are you connecting with GOD, others, and yourself? Are you spreading JOY?
Here are the parts that spoke to me from Chapter Two:
We struggle in our connection with the earth, in our connections with each other, and with being connected with ourselves....Our sexuality is all of the ways we strive to reconnect with our world, with each other, and with God.
You can't be connected with God until you're at peace with who you are....And until you're at peace with God and those around you, you will continue to struggle with your role on the planet, your part to play in the ongoing creation of the universe.
"Sexy is when you love being you."
Here are the parts that spoke to me from Chapter Three:
When we deny the spiritual dimension to our existence, we end up living like animals. And when we deny the physical, sexual dimension to our existence, we end up living like angels.
And both ways are destructive, because God made us human.
Being fully human is our job. Thinking and laughing and arranging and creating and relating and designing and nurturing and responding and reacting and pondering when googling became a verb and wondering and exploring and meditating and acting and making long lists of verbs and calling and talking and feeling and sharing and doubting if this paragraph is ever going to end and teaching and learning and jumping on a trampoline and sighing and celebrating and dancing and turning to the person next to you and saying: "This is living."
You can make your own list because you know what it is that makes you feel alive, what it is that feeds your soul, what it is that reminds you that the goal is to be fully human. What's on your list?
As human beings, we take part through our actions in the ongoing creation of the world. The question is, What kind of world are we going to make? What kind of world will our energies create?
In a way I feel this repetition being played out in my life. Life is about connecting with GOD, connecting with others, and connecting with myself. By learning who GOD has created me to be I learn about HIM, and draw closer to HIM in a beautiful way. I just think about that letter I wrote a few years back. I was truly falling in love with GOD again in a whole new way. I still to this day long to continue to fall in love with HIM in new ways daily. Right now I hunger and thirst for more of HIM. And as I draw closer to GOD and know who it is HE has created me to be.......well, it makes me want to connect with others so that I can see HIM reflected in the beautiful creation HE has made. I do pray some day that I can have HIM here in the flesh in the form of a husband. Someone to connect with more than others and to share this journey in.
We were created to love and serve one another, but all too often we actually hurt one another. Because people hurt people. GOD is a living and breathing presence that we can experience in the life we choose to live in HIS ongoing creation. And that is the connection we all need. (This thought came as a combination from Our Daily Bread and Living the Message for today.)
So ask yourself what kind of world you are creating around you? How are you connecting with GOD, others, and yourself? Are you spreading JOY?
Friday, August 17, 2007
"Sex God" Chapter 1
Okay, so the title of this chapter is "God Wears Lipstick". Why Rob Bell titled it that you'll have to find out for yourself by reading the book.
However, just as I was anticipating GOD to speak, HE did. I have to add it wasn't in the way some of you may be thinking. The two things that hit home in my heart last night while reading chapter one may not even connect to the whole picture of the book. It did, however, speak to me.
I have grown and learned so much while spending almost a year away. And I have been doing a lot of observing since being back. Some questions have come across my mind like: Why do people tend to compete with one another? Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why are we afraid to take risks? Why are we afraid to let people see who we really are? Why do we let past hurts and fears get in the way of doing things GOD would want us to do? Why are we selfish, thinking of our hurts and fears more than putting others first? Why do we just NOT take the time?
One of the paragraphs that spoke to my heart last night said:
Moments when all of the ways that we divide ourselves and rank each other and convince ourselves of how different, better, and unalike we are disappear, and we are faced with the fact that first and foremost, we are humans. In this together. And not that much different from each other.
How true is that, we are in this together and we need one another to journey through this life. It is what we were created to do. That paragraph had this footnote in the back of the book:
The word community comes from the word common. Community isn't really created- it's discovered. We discover what we've had in common all along. We don't make these bonds from scratch, we merely become aware of bonds that have been there all along.
This idea of community has really come up a lot the past few months. Maybe it is because I was a part of an amazing community through my small group years prior to going to Korea? Maybe it is because I really didn't have a sense, feel for community while I was in Korea? Maybe it is just because I am excited and aware of the new community and opportunities that GOD is placing before me at the moment? Maybe it is because I am longing for more community, connection with others in my life? Or maybe it is because I have been listening and hearing the cry of others for community?
What ever it is, when thinking about community I think about how we are all created differently, yet the same. How we all long to be accepted and known for who we are. To be a part of something where we can just be ourselves. I heard it once said that we are all born with the need to be loved, and we never out grow it. We also are all created by the same Creator and in HIS image. Wow, enough said. I know that I have only just taken a part of the chapter and I am not really sharing ALL that has been in my heart, but just giving a little taste of what I felt like I should share. GOD didn't create us to experience this life, this adventure on our own, but to experience it with others. So why do we continue to disconnect ourselves and not take risks?
The other part that spoke to me later on in the chapter said: Because with every decision, conversation, gesture, comment, action, and attitude, we're inviting heaven or hell to earth.
Now that is a pretty powerful and true statement!! He went on to tell of a woman who is bringing heaven to earth because, She and her family have taken kids who were discarded because of their perceived lack of worth and said, "No, you are not to be rejected and turned away. We are going to love you as an equal, as a human, as one of us."
Now that is reflecting the image of GOD. Rob Bell continued with; And when you see it lived out like this, you're seeing heaven crash into earth.
I know this spoke to my heart because GOD has really been putting the whole 'Orphan' thing on my heart and in my thoughts again. As you may have noticed the link titled James 1:27 to the right of this blog. I have been praying about helping a friend start an orphan ministry of some kind at church. And it got me thinking about two friends whom are missionaries working with orphans and I added them as links as well. Hopeful one of those places, if not both, may turn out to be the place I serve the LORD next summer. Though that is still in prayer and will all be a part of HIS Perfect Plan, in HIS Perfect Timing.
I have also found it interesting being places this week where there have been families that have 7 or 8 children. I know this because all the children were calling one person mom. Yet the children were of different races or didn't look alike. This has happened twice, I am guessing that they were foster families or adoptive families. Just interesting that GOD would put them in my path with what my thoughts have been.
I just know that by GOD speaking through the book in this way that I am exactly where I am suppose to be at this moment, seeking HIM, while HE guides and directs in the way HE would have me go. HE has been confirming this idea in my heart about orphans for over 10 years now, and actually longer if I count all the tears I have shed during my teenage years. I still don't know what it will all look like, and I am SURE it will be much different than what I think.
An added side note, is that I find it interesting that I felt really led to share the scripture reference for Our Daily Bread from yesterday in a Google email I sent. That scripture was Philippians 1: 1-11. I felt like it was what I wanted to say to so many others. Then tonight I went back to read an update from a friend of mine who teaches in Germany. And what I reread in her letter was exactly what I was thinking and trying to convey when I shared the scripture last night in my email.
So here are her written words: Since being home, it has been wonderful to see many of you personally. I am reminded again of the blessing it is to have a place to call “home” where I am loved by so many. You are truly a blessing to me and I am grateful that God has placed you in my life. I pray that I may be a blessing to you in return. Paul’s greeting in Philippians 1:1-11 is my heart’s thought as I think of you all. No, I am not imprisoned, but you are partakers in the ministry to students, missionaries, and unbelievers around the world. Thank you!
I just thought she expressed it better than I was trying to. I just want to PRAISE GOD for speaking in three distinct thoughts in the past twenty-four hours.
I have to add that GOD continued speaking through "Living the Message" and "Our Daily Bread" for today.
We can not compensate for neglecting those nearest us by advertising our compassion for those on another continent.....The check for the starving child must still be written and the missionary sent, but as an extension of what we are doing at home, not as an exemption from it. And: We have the good news...And we should assist in delivering it by word and deed to people around us who need its life-giving message.
I am sorry that these thoughts don't seem to connect and in a way are random. However, I just know, sense, and feel GOD moving right now and want to record thoughts for myself to go back and reflect on. And well, if someone else reads it and gets something from it too then PRAISE JESUS!!
However, just as I was anticipating GOD to speak, HE did. I have to add it wasn't in the way some of you may be thinking. The two things that hit home in my heart last night while reading chapter one may not even connect to the whole picture of the book. It did, however, speak to me.
I have grown and learned so much while spending almost a year away. And I have been doing a lot of observing since being back. Some questions have come across my mind like: Why do people tend to compete with one another? Why do we compare ourselves to others? Why are we afraid to take risks? Why are we afraid to let people see who we really are? Why do we let past hurts and fears get in the way of doing things GOD would want us to do? Why are we selfish, thinking of our hurts and fears more than putting others first? Why do we just NOT take the time?
One of the paragraphs that spoke to my heart last night said:
Moments when all of the ways that we divide ourselves and rank each other and convince ourselves of how different, better, and unalike we are disappear, and we are faced with the fact that first and foremost, we are humans. In this together. And not that much different from each other.
How true is that, we are in this together and we need one another to journey through this life. It is what we were created to do. That paragraph had this footnote in the back of the book:
The word community comes from the word common. Community isn't really created- it's discovered. We discover what we've had in common all along. We don't make these bonds from scratch, we merely become aware of bonds that have been there all along.
This idea of community has really come up a lot the past few months. Maybe it is because I was a part of an amazing community through my small group years prior to going to Korea? Maybe it is because I really didn't have a sense, feel for community while I was in Korea? Maybe it is just because I am excited and aware of the new community and opportunities that GOD is placing before me at the moment? Maybe it is because I am longing for more community, connection with others in my life? Or maybe it is because I have been listening and hearing the cry of others for community?
What ever it is, when thinking about community I think about how we are all created differently, yet the same. How we all long to be accepted and known for who we are. To be a part of something where we can just be ourselves. I heard it once said that we are all born with the need to be loved, and we never out grow it. We also are all created by the same Creator and in HIS image. Wow, enough said. I know that I have only just taken a part of the chapter and I am not really sharing ALL that has been in my heart, but just giving a little taste of what I felt like I should share. GOD didn't create us to experience this life, this adventure on our own, but to experience it with others. So why do we continue to disconnect ourselves and not take risks?
The other part that spoke to me later on in the chapter said: Because with every decision, conversation, gesture, comment, action, and attitude, we're inviting heaven or hell to earth.
Now that is a pretty powerful and true statement!! He went on to tell of a woman who is bringing heaven to earth because, She and her family have taken kids who were discarded because of their perceived lack of worth and said, "No, you are not to be rejected and turned away. We are going to love you as an equal, as a human, as one of us."
Now that is reflecting the image of GOD. Rob Bell continued with; And when you see it lived out like this, you're seeing heaven crash into earth.
I know this spoke to my heart because GOD has really been putting the whole 'Orphan' thing on my heart and in my thoughts again. As you may have noticed the link titled James 1:27 to the right of this blog. I have been praying about helping a friend start an orphan ministry of some kind at church. And it got me thinking about two friends whom are missionaries working with orphans and I added them as links as well. Hopeful one of those places, if not both, may turn out to be the place I serve the LORD next summer. Though that is still in prayer and will all be a part of HIS Perfect Plan, in HIS Perfect Timing.
I have also found it interesting being places this week where there have been families that have 7 or 8 children. I know this because all the children were calling one person mom. Yet the children were of different races or didn't look alike. This has happened twice, I am guessing that they were foster families or adoptive families. Just interesting that GOD would put them in my path with what my thoughts have been.
I just know that by GOD speaking through the book in this way that I am exactly where I am suppose to be at this moment, seeking HIM, while HE guides and directs in the way HE would have me go. HE has been confirming this idea in my heart about orphans for over 10 years now, and actually longer if I count all the tears I have shed during my teenage years. I still don't know what it will all look like, and I am SURE it will be much different than what I think.
An added side note, is that I find it interesting that I felt really led to share the scripture reference for Our Daily Bread from yesterday in a Google email I sent. That scripture was Philippians 1: 1-11. I felt like it was what I wanted to say to so many others. Then tonight I went back to read an update from a friend of mine who teaches in Germany. And what I reread in her letter was exactly what I was thinking and trying to convey when I shared the scripture last night in my email.
So here are her written words: Since being home, it has been wonderful to see many of you personally. I am reminded again of the blessing it is to have a place to call “home” where I am loved by so many. You are truly a blessing to me and I am grateful that God has placed you in my life. I pray that I may be a blessing to you in return. Paul’s greeting in Philippians 1:1-11 is my heart’s thought as I think of you all. No, I am not imprisoned, but you are partakers in the ministry to students, missionaries, and unbelievers around the world. Thank you!
I just thought she expressed it better than I was trying to. I just want to PRAISE GOD for speaking in three distinct thoughts in the past twenty-four hours.
I have to add that GOD continued speaking through "Living the Message" and "Our Daily Bread" for today.
We can not compensate for neglecting those nearest us by advertising our compassion for those on another continent.....The check for the starving child must still be written and the missionary sent, but as an extension of what we are doing at home, not as an exemption from it. And: We have the good news...And we should assist in delivering it by word and deed to people around us who need its life-giving message.
I am sorry that these thoughts don't seem to connect and in a way are random. However, I just know, sense, and feel GOD moving right now and want to record thoughts for myself to go back and reflect on. And well, if someone else reads it and gets something from it too then PRAISE JESUS!!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Book
GOD usually tends to speak to me in a number of different ways. And I love when HE uses books. However, it has been pretty obvious to me that HE has been leading me to read a particular book at this time.
There is a book called, "SEX GOD" by Rob Bell. It has come across my path in some way, five times in the past week or so. Bible Study, yesterday, being the last time. I went to the bookstore tonight to buy it. Check out the title of the chapters.
Introduction: This Is Really About That
Chapter One: God Wears Lipstick
Chapter Two: Sexy on the Inside
Chapter Three: Angels and Animals
Chapter Four: Leather, Whips, and Fruit
Chapter Five: She Ran into the Girls' Bathroom
Chapter Six: Worth Dying For
Chapter Seven: Under the Chuppah
Chapter Eight: Johnny and June
Chapter Nine: Whoopee Forever
Epilogue: More Balloons, Please
You may wonder why I feel like sharing this with you all? I am just wondering what it is GOD wants to share with me at the moment, or what HE is trying to speak to me about. It is just going to be real interesting as I read and things unfold. I REALLY know that it was HIM leading me to this. I think this book may become a source for some journals in the next week or so, but then again, maybe not.
Tonight I just read the introduction. I was pulled in a paragraph towards the end that started with: And she's single and fine with it but still has....
However, the part I REALLY want to share here that was at the end says:
Something deeper. Something behind it all. You can't talk about sexuality without talking about how we were made. And that will inevitably lead you to who made us. At some point you have to talk about God.
Sex. God. They're connected. And they can't be separated. Where the one is, you will always find the other. This is a book about how sexuality is the "this" and spirituality is the "that". To make sense of the one, we have to explore the other.
And that is what this book is about.
There is a book called, "SEX GOD" by Rob Bell. It has come across my path in some way, five times in the past week or so. Bible Study, yesterday, being the last time. I went to the bookstore tonight to buy it. Check out the title of the chapters.
Introduction: This Is Really About That
Chapter One: God Wears Lipstick
Chapter Two: Sexy on the Inside
Chapter Three: Angels and Animals
Chapter Four: Leather, Whips, and Fruit
Chapter Five: She Ran into the Girls' Bathroom
Chapter Six: Worth Dying For
Chapter Seven: Under the Chuppah
Chapter Eight: Johnny and June
Chapter Nine: Whoopee Forever
Epilogue: More Balloons, Please
You may wonder why I feel like sharing this with you all? I am just wondering what it is GOD wants to share with me at the moment, or what HE is trying to speak to me about. It is just going to be real interesting as I read and things unfold. I REALLY know that it was HIM leading me to this. I think this book may become a source for some journals in the next week or so, but then again, maybe not.
Tonight I just read the introduction. I was pulled in a paragraph towards the end that started with: And she's single and fine with it but still has....
However, the part I REALLY want to share here that was at the end says:
Something deeper. Something behind it all. You can't talk about sexuality without talking about how we were made. And that will inevitably lead you to who made us. At some point you have to talk about God.
Sex. God. They're connected. And they can't be separated. Where the one is, you will always find the other. This is a book about how sexuality is the "this" and spirituality is the "that". To make sense of the one, we have to explore the other.
And that is what this book is about.
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Can't get it.....
....out of my head. Last night at Bible Study we were discussing Romans 8:28 and as part of it we read December 18, 'The Test of Loyalty' from "Utmost for His Highest".
The idea is not that we do work for God, but that we are so loyal to Him that He can do His work through us.
This sentence was in that reading and I just can't seem to get it out of mind. It is just a reminder that everything is about HIM and that we need to seek HIM with ALL that we have and more importantly are. What we are to focus on is Waiting on HIM and Trusting in HIM.
The idea is not that we do work for God, but that we are so loyal to Him that He can do His work through us.
This sentence was in that reading and I just can't seem to get it out of mind. It is just a reminder that everything is about HIM and that we need to seek HIM with ALL that we have and more importantly are. What we are to focus on is Waiting on HIM and Trusting in HIM.
Thursday, August 02, 2007
Music and Memories
GOD not only amazes me everyday that I meet HIM, but HE amazes me in the way HE can use a song to speak directly to your heart. Today, as I was driving, I got to thinking about all the Christian and Country songs I was hearing. I think I could write a whole chapter of my life just by using the words to a number of songs. It just amazes me at how so many speak exactly about my own life, yet, I bet they speak to many others as well. That is just the beauty of life, isn't it? Seriously, I think every song I listened to today on the radio had something to say that related to my life.
As I have been reflecting, I got to thinking about other years of my life at this time and what was it I was doing. For instance, 5 years ago this week I was in my third session of Teen Impact at Camp Id Ra Ha Je. I was getting ready for my last backpacking trip (August 5-8, 2002), which was a pretty cool one because it was all girls and one was a very special student of mine. I even have the scripture we used for that trip marked in my Bible. I came across it last night. We had memorized Psalm 40: 1-5. That was a summer filled with many GOD Moments.
Then, I recalled 4 years ago and remembered an update that I wrote on August 6, 2003. The funny thing is that I still have a copy of it. Here is some of what I wrote and what was happening then:
And I think the most important thing I need to share with you all is that I AM IN LOVE. Yes, can you believe it my love life feels complete at the moment. I never thought I could ever feel this way in my whole life. Oh, I guess I should mention who I am in love with right? I am in LOVE with God like I have never been before. I know there is a song out that says "99.9% sure I have never been here before". That is me. I have loved Him since the day I opened my heart to Him. But Sunday, it just hit me so hard. How much love there is. I am so full of love and Joy right now I feel as though I am ready to burst wide open. I don't know what really brought it on. It may have been the past two months, drawing closer to Him every day, trying to allow Him to have complete control of my life, the book I was reading that day, or maybe looking back and remembering where I have been. I thought of all of the people who have been a part of my journey. All the words of encouragement from each one. I just really don't know other than I am in love in a way I have never been before. I know with out a doubt that God has a hold of the pen. He is writing my story, not me. He is the only One who knows what the next chapter holds, I only have to worry about living the page I am on right now. I don't ever want this feeling to end. I feel as though I am floating on air. I really wish I could share this love and joy with each and everyone of you in a personal way. I guess I am by sending this to you. Some of you may not understand, or think I'm weird. That is ok, I just know I don't need anything else but Him. His love has always stayed the same. I just feel so different. This is amazing I want you all to feel this.
I just knew something big was coming on a page soon, I just never imagined it would be this GREAT!!! Thank you all for being a part of my story. May God bless you in an amazing way this very moment.
You all are loved by a wonderful God in Heaven, open your hearts to Him. It will change your life.
Wow, how awesome is GOD........HE still does all that and HE is still ALL that I need. HE is my everything and I am still in love with HIM like I feel I have never been before. And words from others over the past few years, actually the past few weeks and days, are still playing a part in drawing me closer to HIS Heart and the Love HE has for me. HE just keeps revealing HIMSELF and who HE has made me to be.
As I decided to write about this I started to think about the other years since those too. Hmmmm....what was it I was doing 3 years ago at this time in 2004? Oh yes, I was tired of hearing many of my friends say that I was too picky and that was why I was still single, so that was the summer that I said "ok, I will show them and put myself out there". Though it starts around my Birthday in May that year, when I bought my own place and how GOD brought eHarmony back into the picture. Anyways, I decided to give love a try, so to speak. By this week then, I felt like that wasn't enough and was just really praying to GOD about the whole thing when HE brought a local dating service, Great Expectations, across my path. So 3 years ago, I put myself out there. And, just for the record, I AM STILL SINGLE, but know it ALL has to do with GOD's Plan and Perfect Timing (Jeremiah 29:11 and Habakkuk 2:3)!
How about 2 years ago in 2005..........I don't want to write about that, but some of you know what that was the start of. A year of really growing up for me and really seeing GOD work in my life. Yet, I can only see and say that after ALL the other things GOD has done in the past two years and with a lot of reflection on the situation.
Then a year ago..........I said it yesterday, A wonderful surprise and gift that was totally unexpected.
I just think it has been awesome to look back and reflect on the past 5 years. So, which one was the best? Hmmmm...............I don't think there could be a question about that one! Of course, it would have been falling in love with JESUS all over again. Though the one in second, is pretty close. I would actually have to say the one that is unfolding right now is the best because it is the present moment of which I want to seize for all that it has to offer, and yet, all the ones to come in the future I can guess are only gonna get even better with JESUS!!
There is NOTHING more awesome than to know GOD. HIS presences with us is one of HIS greatest presents to us (ODB). I pray that you can unwrap HIS Love as you seize the divine moments HE places you in!!
As I have been reflecting, I got to thinking about other years of my life at this time and what was it I was doing. For instance, 5 years ago this week I was in my third session of Teen Impact at Camp Id Ra Ha Je. I was getting ready for my last backpacking trip (August 5-8, 2002), which was a pretty cool one because it was all girls and one was a very special student of mine. I even have the scripture we used for that trip marked in my Bible. I came across it last night. We had memorized Psalm 40: 1-5. That was a summer filled with many GOD Moments.
Then, I recalled 4 years ago and remembered an update that I wrote on August 6, 2003. The funny thing is that I still have a copy of it. Here is some of what I wrote and what was happening then:
And I think the most important thing I need to share with you all is that I AM IN LOVE. Yes, can you believe it my love life feels complete at the moment. I never thought I could ever feel this way in my whole life. Oh, I guess I should mention who I am in love with right? I am in LOVE with God like I have never been before. I know there is a song out that says "99.9% sure I have never been here before". That is me. I have loved Him since the day I opened my heart to Him. But Sunday, it just hit me so hard. How much love there is. I am so full of love and Joy right now I feel as though I am ready to burst wide open. I don't know what really brought it on. It may have been the past two months, drawing closer to Him every day, trying to allow Him to have complete control of my life, the book I was reading that day, or maybe looking back and remembering where I have been. I thought of all of the people who have been a part of my journey. All the words of encouragement from each one. I just really don't know other than I am in love in a way I have never been before. I know with out a doubt that God has a hold of the pen. He is writing my story, not me. He is the only One who knows what the next chapter holds, I only have to worry about living the page I am on right now. I don't ever want this feeling to end. I feel as though I am floating on air. I really wish I could share this love and joy with each and everyone of you in a personal way. I guess I am by sending this to you. Some of you may not understand, or think I'm weird. That is ok, I just know I don't need anything else but Him. His love has always stayed the same. I just feel so different. This is amazing I want you all to feel this.
I just knew something big was coming on a page soon, I just never imagined it would be this GREAT!!! Thank you all for being a part of my story. May God bless you in an amazing way this very moment.
You all are loved by a wonderful God in Heaven, open your hearts to Him. It will change your life.
Wow, how awesome is GOD........HE still does all that and HE is still ALL that I need. HE is my everything and I am still in love with HIM like I feel I have never been before. And words from others over the past few years, actually the past few weeks and days, are still playing a part in drawing me closer to HIS Heart and the Love HE has for me. HE just keeps revealing HIMSELF and who HE has made me to be.
As I decided to write about this I started to think about the other years since those too. Hmmmm....what was it I was doing 3 years ago at this time in 2004? Oh yes, I was tired of hearing many of my friends say that I was too picky and that was why I was still single, so that was the summer that I said "ok, I will show them and put myself out there". Though it starts around my Birthday in May that year, when I bought my own place and how GOD brought eHarmony back into the picture. Anyways, I decided to give love a try, so to speak. By this week then, I felt like that wasn't enough and was just really praying to GOD about the whole thing when HE brought a local dating service, Great Expectations, across my path. So 3 years ago, I put myself out there. And, just for the record, I AM STILL SINGLE, but know it ALL has to do with GOD's Plan and Perfect Timing (Jeremiah 29:11 and Habakkuk 2:3)!
How about 2 years ago in 2005..........I don't want to write about that, but some of you know what that was the start of. A year of really growing up for me and really seeing GOD work in my life. Yet, I can only see and say that after ALL the other things GOD has done in the past two years and with a lot of reflection on the situation.
Then a year ago..........I said it yesterday, A wonderful surprise and gift that was totally unexpected.
I just think it has been awesome to look back and reflect on the past 5 years. So, which one was the best? Hmmmm...............I don't think there could be a question about that one! Of course, it would have been falling in love with JESUS all over again. Though the one in second, is pretty close. I would actually have to say the one that is unfolding right now is the best because it is the present moment of which I want to seize for all that it has to offer, and yet, all the ones to come in the future I can guess are only gonna get even better with JESUS!!
There is NOTHING more awesome than to know GOD. HIS presences with us is one of HIS greatest presents to us (ODB). I pray that you can unwrap HIS Love as you seize the divine moments HE places you in!!
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
A year ago....
...this was the last week I was in the States before going to Korea. Wow, I can't believe ALL that has happened in a year. And how much of a gift was that week and the past year.
This thought really hit me on Sunday as we were going to church. Last year at that time, it WAS my last Sunday.
If it was GOD's plan for me to return this would be my last week in the States before returning to Korea. PRAISE JESUS, that I am not going back. My time back here hasn't been long enough yet. There is still so much I haven't done that I missed while away and so many I haven't seen yet.
However, it has been interesting over the past few days to reflect upon the past year. The pictures on my computer have helped. One will come up on the screen from a couple of weeks ago at my class reunion, the next one from Bali, then one of my class in Korea.........it just makes me think about ALL that has been a part of my life over the past year.
I was afraid when I came back that I wouldn't be the same.........and I am NOT. There is a part of me that is exactly the same, but yet so much of me is different. My heart has experienced so much. It has seized so many moments and opportunities that have been given by GOD. I am NOT the same as I was.........it is amazing to see how much I have grown over the past year. To reflect upon where I was and to know where I am now. To actually be able to see that change in a year is just an amazing thing for me at the moment.
Yes, a year ago this week I was returning a vehicle to a friend whom allowed me to borrow it for about 4 months. Interesting a year later, today a matter of fact, I purchased that same vehicle. What a blessing it was and an answer to prayer over a year ago, but how much more a blessing it is today. GOD is awesome, I got an SUV, something that I have only dreamed about for such a long time........and it is even green. It feels like a little reward from GOD. Thank you LORD!!
I am also reminded of the wonderful surprises that took place in my life a year ago. A week filled with closure and good byes. Time spent with special people; a visit with my brother (that was long over due), a send off party, and an amazing surprise that was a wonderful gift from GOD. That was this week a year ago.
And who would have thought I would have had the kind of adventure that I had during the past year. I was asked a couple of times over the past couple of days if I regretted going or if I would do it again if I had the choice to go back a year. I don't regret a moment and yes, I would go again..........especially because it was what GOD was calling me to do.
This past year has only been a part of the adventure and journey that GOD has walked with me on.......I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds. And there is definitely an adventure still unfolding in my life. GOD is just so...........well, EVERYTHING!! HE continues to speak in some very amazing ways and at just the RIGHT TIME!!!!
"PRAISE the LORD. Give Thanks to the LORD, for HE is good. HIS Love endures forever."
This thought really hit me on Sunday as we were going to church. Last year at that time, it WAS my last Sunday.
If it was GOD's plan for me to return this would be my last week in the States before returning to Korea. PRAISE JESUS, that I am not going back. My time back here hasn't been long enough yet. There is still so much I haven't done that I missed while away and so many I haven't seen yet.
However, it has been interesting over the past few days to reflect upon the past year. The pictures on my computer have helped. One will come up on the screen from a couple of weeks ago at my class reunion, the next one from Bali, then one of my class in Korea.........it just makes me think about ALL that has been a part of my life over the past year.
I was afraid when I came back that I wouldn't be the same.........and I am NOT. There is a part of me that is exactly the same, but yet so much of me is different. My heart has experienced so much. It has seized so many moments and opportunities that have been given by GOD. I am NOT the same as I was.........it is amazing to see how much I have grown over the past year. To reflect upon where I was and to know where I am now. To actually be able to see that change in a year is just an amazing thing for me at the moment.
Yes, a year ago this week I was returning a vehicle to a friend whom allowed me to borrow it for about 4 months. Interesting a year later, today a matter of fact, I purchased that same vehicle. What a blessing it was and an answer to prayer over a year ago, but how much more a blessing it is today. GOD is awesome, I got an SUV, something that I have only dreamed about for such a long time........and it is even green. It feels like a little reward from GOD. Thank you LORD!!
I am also reminded of the wonderful surprises that took place in my life a year ago. A week filled with closure and good byes. Time spent with special people; a visit with my brother (that was long over due), a send off party, and an amazing surprise that was a wonderful gift from GOD. That was this week a year ago.
And who would have thought I would have had the kind of adventure that I had during the past year. I was asked a couple of times over the past couple of days if I regretted going or if I would do it again if I had the choice to go back a year. I don't regret a moment and yes, I would go again..........especially because it was what GOD was calling me to do.
This past year has only been a part of the adventure and journey that GOD has walked with me on.......I can't wait to see how the rest of it unfolds. And there is definitely an adventure still unfolding in my life. GOD is just so...........well, EVERYTHING!! HE continues to speak in some very amazing ways and at just the RIGHT TIME!!!!
"PRAISE the LORD. Give Thanks to the LORD, for HE is good. HIS Love endures forever."
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