"Sex God" Chapter 4

This chapter to me is about 'contentment' as well as the idea of 'wanting more'.

Are you content with where you are? Where life has taken you and is taking you? Are you content with who you are? Have you ever asked 'if'? Or, do you plainly want more?....I could go on and on with these questions. Look at Adam and Eve, they wanted this one piece of fruit. They weren't content with what they had. They thought they were missing out on something and wanted more. Look where it got them and us for that matter.

Rob Bell wrote:
The idea creeps into our head and heart that we are lacking, that we are incomplete, that this craving in front of us is the answer.

The "if" means we have become attached to the idea that we are missing something and that we can be satisfied by whatever it is we have in our sights. There's a hole, a space, a gap, and we're on the search. And we may not even realize it. When we are in the right place, the right space- content and at peace- we aren't on the search, and our radar gets turned off.

Whatever it is that has its hooks in you, you will never be free from it until you find something you want more. It's not about getting rid of desire. It's about giving ourselves to bigger and better and more powerful desires.

What are you channeling your energies into? Because they will go somewhere.

If they don't go into a few, select, disciplined pursuits that you are passionate about and are willing to give your life to, then they'll dissipate into all sorts of urges and cravings that won't even begin to bring the joy that the "one thing" could.

Life is not about toning down and repressing your God-given life force. It's about channeling it and focusing it and turning it loose on something beautiful, something pure and true and good, something that connects you with GOD, with others, with the world.

What do you want more?

As I read these parts I thought I should be writing it in my owns words, but thought that he wrote them better than I could. So I used his words here and kept asking myself: Are you content Kimie? What is it you want more of?

The answer surprised me in a way. I am content, but then I am not. I don't feel connected is why I don't feel content. It is weird, but I feel less connected now to GOD and others than when I was away in Korea. If that makes sense. But I know it is a place where GOD wants and needs me to be at the present time. It is still a part of my journey and the path GOD is leading me down.

The bigger picture is that I AM CONTENT, but the thing that I WANT MORE.............Well, that is MORE of GOD. My heart aches and cries for more of HIM right now. I can't explain it, but I not only WANT, but NEED HIM like I feel I never have before.