Music

I just love the power in music. The words to soooo many songs just speak so directly to your heart, well at least to mine. I think every song I heard this morning on my way to school had a message that helped encourage or lift me up with the hard task that is at hand for me today. I mostly listened to KLOVE, but also switched to the country station a couple of times, as well as the local station that is only playing Christmas music.

So this morning, the power of music and the power of GOD seen in HIS creation all around me made me feel and see HIM in a very powerful way. PRAISE JESUS!!

A Story...

In "Living the Message" on November 28, Eugene Peterson writes:

...we're in a story, in which everything eventually comes together, a narrative in which all the puzzling parts finally fit and years later we exclaim, "Oh, so that's what that meant!" But being in a story means that we must not attempt to get ahead of the story- skip the hard parts, erase the painful parts, detour the disappointments. Lament, making the most of our loss without getting bogged down in it, is a primary way of staying in the story. God is telling the story, remember. It is a large, capacious story. He does not look kindly on our editoral deletions. But he delights in our poetry.

This was just refreshing and encouraging to me. I know that we are all a part of a bigger story and I don't want to skip ahead. I just don't want to experience all the disappointments and hurts so frequently. It seems like I just keep facing one disappoint after another. At times I feel as though I am drawing back and away from people. I can't take the disappointment, hurt, or rejection that comes from believing in a person, hoping for something, or just basically caring. Yet, not having the same in return from them.

So with that said, it is still amazing and hopeful to know that 'someday' it will all makes sense. To be reminded that it is ALL a part of the story. I also know that I can rest assure because GOD has a plan and purpose in all of it. After all, HE is the one who holds the pen in writing our stories.

In light of all that has taken place in the past couple of years, how could I ever doubt that HE is the author. So welcome to the next chapter of the adventuresome life of Kimie!! I am sure it won't be boring or without pain and disappointments. But just maybe it may be time for some Dreams to come true. At least I can still Hope for that.

Chains fall...

I can't believe how it felt after giving my resignation. It was as if chains fell off. I felt a weight be lifted off my shoulders. So though it was a hard decision to make it felt like a confirmation from GOD that I was doing the right thing. My heart, my soul, my spirit feels so different already.

I have also had a number of little blessings come my way since Sunday, when I decided to make this move. There is this peace that I haven't felt in a long time and this sense of freedom.

The hardest part by far will be saying good bye to my six students. My prayers and thoughts are for their precious hearts right now. I know GOD has them in the palm of HIS Hand and that HE is in control. HE will take care of them and use this situation for HIS good in their lives as well.

Resignation

After prayerful consideration (1 Thessalonians 5:17) and advice from many counsel (Proverbs 15:22) I have given my resignation at work this morning.

I have a peace within about this but have a fear about tomorrow. I do know without a doubt that GOD has always provided and HE will right now, so I really don't have anything to fear. I know this deep within, but my human flesh side is having a harder time. But again, I know GOD is in control.

I don't know what I will do for income at the moment, but I have options.

I do know that I will be starting the Licensure Program for Education at CCU in January. At the end of the next two years I will be licensed to teach and have my Masters.

Thankful Thanksgiving

My class did an activity where they came up with something they were thankful for that started with each letter of thanks. I encourage you to try it too. Here is what I would put for me.

THANKS JESUS for

Touching my life,
Hope,
Acceptance, supplying all my
Needs,
Kids in my life, and being my
Savior, God's Son who brought Salvation

I am also THANKFUL for

Teachings and Testings
Hiking and Health
Abundant Blessings
Naps
Kisses (been a long time, but last one was memorable)
Faith, Family, Friends, Football, Fall, and one I can't write.
Unforgettable Moments
Love and Life

Encouragement

I received this in an email this morning and it was encouraging to me. The song does remind me of me, too.

Kimie,
I just wanted to let you know that I really am praying for you. I have been awake for about an hour now (even though the house and the baby are quiet, God woke me up and put you on my heart) and I have spent that time before the throne of God praying for you. I don't know what else to do, but I also know there is nothing more powerful that I could do.

While I have been praying God brought to mind a song that makes me think of you and I thought I would share it in case it could be of some encouragement. I don't know if you ever listened to Twila Paris back in the day (a long, long time ago!!!) but I have always loved her song The Warrior Is A Child.

Lately I've been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears

(Chorus)

They don't know that I go running Home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

Unafraid because his armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet

They don't know that I go running Home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child

I drop my sword and look up for His smile
Because deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
Deep inside this armor
The Warrior is a Child

I also received a few emails of encouragement after I sent my email regarding John 10:10 that I shared on October 18, 2007. I have wanted to record them but haven't found time. Now seems like the right time to include them. Maybe they can encourage someone else.

2 Corinthians 4:8-10
We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair;persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.

Hello Ms. Kimie!
Tonight, as I was having my devotional I felt impressed to send these verses to you. I am not going to do a lot of "chit chat" because I think these words will say it all. These verses are taken from a Kids Life Application Bible. I love it because it's "plain and simple." Enjoy them, meditate upon them, and allow these verses to bring the answers you long to hear. If you are able to read the entire chapter do so, it's great!

Lamentations 3:17-19
Peace has been stripped away, and I have forgotten what prosperity is. I cry out, "My splendor is gone! Everything I had hoped for from the Lord is lost!" The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter and beyond words."

Lamentations 3:21-26
Yet I still dare to hope when I remember this: The unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, "The Lord is my inheritance; therefore, I will hope in him!" The Lord is wonderfully good to those who wait for him and seek him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.

Lamentations 3:31-33
For the Lord does not abandon anyone forever. Though he brings grief, he also shows compassion according to the greatness of his unfailing love. For he does not enjoy hurting people or causing them sorrow.

Lamentations 3:55
But I called on your name, Lord, from deep with the well (pit), and you heard me! You listened to my pleading; you heard my weeping! Yes, you came at my despairing cry and told me, "Do not fear."

Dear Miss Morton,
First off Desiree and I would like to start off by saying that every day you are in our prayers. Every morning when we drive to school we say a small prayer and thank him for what he gives us and has given us and for the wonderful people that are in our lives and have somehow touched our lives. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't thank God for the good things and bad things that happen in our everyday lives. At times I feel as though things get way too difficult for us to make things better, but somehow God always shows us that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. We look forward to every coming day because we think of it as a gift, whether it's good or bad it's still a surprise that he let's us experience. I know how thankful Desiree was when you were her teacher. To this day you have been one of the teachers that has been her biggest inspiration because she sees how strong and willing you are to better yourself, to better your life. And that you continue to have that strong faith in God.

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases, his mercies never
come to an end; they are new every morning. . .
- Lamentations 3:22-23

Come unto me, ye who are weary and overburdened, and I
will give you rest.
- Matthew 11:28

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own
understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He
shall direct your paths.
- Proverbs 3:5,6

Desiree and I hope that you find comfort with the verses we are sending along with our e-mail. God is so powerful and I know that he will give you the strength to go on and do what he is allowing you to do, to make the right decisions, and to continue loving him with all your heart. Here is one of our favorites songs hope you are familiar with it if not, It's by Third Day and its a beautiful song. Take care and may you continue to find the risen Christ in everything you do.

Well I won't pretend to know what you're thinking
And I can't begin to know what you're going through
And I won't deny the pain that you're feeling
But I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you
Just remember what I told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you

So keep holding on

You got your disappointments and sorrows
You ought to share the weight of that load with me
Then you will find that the light of tomorrow
Well it brings new life for your eyes to see
So remember what i told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on

So remember what i told you
There's so much your living for

There's a light at the end of this tunnel
There's a light at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel for you
For you yeah
There's a light at the end of this tunnel ooh
For you, for you yeah
Shining bright at the end of this tunnel
For you, for you
So keep holding on
Keep holding on
Keep holding on now

You got your disappointments and sorrows
I'm gonna try and give a little hope to you

Quote

“Many people search blindly for the ‘meaning of life.’ What they don’t seem to understand is that life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun. The meaning of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation.”
~ Dr. Laura Schlessinger (Internat’l radio host and author)

A friend shared this quote with me today and I felt led to share it here. Life is all about CONNECTIONS!

I also will add that GOD continues to speak through everything. HE continues to throw each scripture reference I read at me at least three times. I don't feel HE is speaking anything in particular other than reminding me HE is STILL THERE. Praise JESUS!

The BUT

"your a princess", "HIS daughter", "a warrior", "a beautiful child"...but, but, but, but, but...

So ask me what I remember? All the buts. I requested a meeting Monday with my headmaster and well, he had a whole list of things to go over with me as if he had asked for the meeting. The best way to sum it up was I left feeling more crushed than I already had, not uplifted. I felt attacked in my spirit and my heart. NOTHING to do with me professionally, it seems all the complaints, etc.... are to my character, my passion, my gift, and in who I am. Again, it goes back to what I wrote about John 10:10, It feels like the enemy is stealing my joy, killing my spirit, and destroying my heart at the moment. But, I DO KNOW that it is CHRIST who gives me the strength right now to carry on. I am praising HIM and thanking HIM and hoping in HIM and trusting in HIM and waiting on HIM and loving through, in, and with HIM.

As I was leaving and thinking things over in my head I remembered hearing something one time about "the but". Where we live is in the but. So all the things that were said were only said to candy coat what really was the message, the message really on their hearts.

Later, I was sharing this thought with a friend and we both remembered where we had heard "the but" before. He thought it was only a part of the book, "The Rest of The Gospel" by Dan Stone and Greg Smith. This topic is actually a WHOLE chapter. Chapter 17 Titled, 'The Holy but':

People always live after the but. The word, I mean: but. Go out and listen to people talk. Everyone lives after the but, whether they are Christians or not. I don't care what they say first, before the but. It's after the but that you hear what they really believe....

...You're always living after the but. Unfortunately, Christians typically put the wrong things before and after the but. We put the God stuff before the but and our situation or feelings after the but....

...You do that, and where are you living? You're living in the junk. You're living in the circumstance. It's got you. The only thing you can hope for is a change in the circumstance. And if that doesn't come, you're up a creek. But even if it does, you still haven't learned to live out of the life of God within you. Satan doesn't care how much God-talk we use, as long as we put it before the but.

I have a name for putting God after the but, where He belongs. I call it the Holy But. Jesus used the Holy But in the Garden of Gethsemane. My paraphrase of His famous prayer is: "Father, I don't want to be separated from You. If it's possible, let Me out of it. In fact, this is so heavy on Me right now that my soul feels very depressed...
...yet...
...nevertheless...
...BUT...
...not as I will, but as You will."

That's the Holy But. the Holy But is a bridge. It moves you from the stuff you're in to faith. IF we didn't have the negative in life, we'd never exercise faith. You don't deny the negative, because it's real and it's what prompts your move into faith.

"I feel awfully weak, but God is my strength."
"I'm sorrowful, but God is my peace."
"I'm in pain, but Christ is my sufficiency."

That is some of it and the just of it. So the message I did receive was in the but. I recall when I heard this the first time how refreshing and encouraging it was. It was again this time as well. Today I even read a verse in the Bible that I felt was a good example of it.

"Though the fig tree may not blossom, Nor fruit be on the vines; Though the labor of the olive may fail, And the fields yield no food; Though the flock may be cut off from the fold, And there be no herd in the stalls- Yet I will rejoice in the LORD, I will joy in the God of my salvation." Habakkuk 3:17-18 (NKJ)

Oh, I need to add that my class is studying invertebrates in science class right now. And yes, you guessed it yesterday when we were talking about the four stages of growth (metamorphosis) our book had to use the 'butterfly'.

Yes, again and more.

So this morning I am watching 'Curious George' with some REALLY special kids I know and the part that I really focus on used the caterpillar to the butterfly. And since I just edited a whole bunch of entries and finally posted them, I thought I would share it as well.

"God Calling" for today is titled, HEAVEN'S COLORS:

Looking back you will see that every step was planned. Leave it all to Me. Each stone in the mosaic fits into the perfect pattern, designed by the Master Artist. It is all so wonderful! But the colors are of Heaven's hues, so that your eyes could not bear to gaze on the whole, until you are beyond the veil. So, stone by stone, you see, and trust the pattern to the Designer.

I just thought the words were beautiful and I feel I could use some beauty in my life. I really don't know what has been going on lately, or really for that matter what it is GOD has been trying to speak to me. I don't feel like me. I feel as though I am grieving, like I have lost something or am saying good bye to something. Yet, I have no idea what that is. On the outside I look like me, heck with working out I am sure it is even a better me. However, the inside is a different story.

On top of that when I get down, being alone and longing for more of GOD also takes ahold of my heart. I have another book of daily readings that I began reading called, "every woman, every day".

As I was reading last Saturday's hit my heart with longing for more of JESUS. Let me share what it says:

Don't forget there's a Mr. Right who longs for your attention and affection, who stands ready to engage in a more passionate love relationship than you could ever imagine. He's already made enormous sacrifices to demonstrate His unconditional love for you. He comes from the strongest family you could imagine, and His Father set an example of perfect love for Him to follow. He owns everything in both heaven and earth and can provide for you beyond your wildest dreams. He has a great vision for your future together, which includes a never-ending honeymoon together in paradise. While you are single, won't you take advantage of every possible opportunity to bask in the incomparable love of Jesus Christ? (Every Young Woman's Battle, page 201)

And for fun I went to read the daily reading for May 31. It was a prayer that says:

As much as I'm able to love someone I can't see or touch, Jesus, I love You. I know You are real. I know You are here with me and even within me, but I have to admit that sometimes I just want someone with skin on to love and love me back. Forgive me for feeling that You aren't enough, Jesus. Would You let me feel Your touch? Would You let me know Your heart intimately? Would You help me hear Your voice? Be enough for me, Lord. Help me be satisfied in You.

This has been my prayer often to HIM, how awesome that it is the daily reading on my Birthday.

Oh, LORD I do love You and need You so desperately in my life right now at this moment. I feel like I am going crazy. What is wrong with me?

*I also read this devotion by Carrie Hudson in an email that I felt I needed to add to this entry. It is where my heart and prayer is also and what a wonderful way to think of this scripture.:

God Changed My Heart
"Now, one of the Pharisees was requesting Him (Jesus) to dine with him. And He entered the Pharisee's house, and reclined at the table. And behold there was a woman in the city who was a sinner; and when she learned that He was reclining at the table in the Pharisee's house, she brought an alabaster of perfume. And standing behind Him at His feet, weeping, she began to wet His feet with her tears, and kept wiping them with the hair of her head, and kissing His feet, and anointing them with the perfume." (Luke 7:36-38)

I think I have read over this passage of scripture many times in my life without giving it much thought. However, this past summer I read it again and the Lord touched my heart in such a way I cried from the first word to the last. I realized there was nothing I wanted more in my life than to be like this woman. The woman, who after hearing that Jesus was within her grasp, ran and got her best perfume to give to Him! To come without a gift…unthinkable! The woman, the sinner, who did not approach Him from the front, but stood behind Him, ever so humbly. The woman, who could not contain her emotion and overwhelming love, wet the Almighty's feet with her tears. The woman who used her hair as a towel to wipe away her tears from the King of King's feet. The woman who kissed the Lamb of Lamb's feet with her lips and anointed them with her finest perfume. This is the woman I want to be most like.

To give myself completely to the Lord. To serve Him and love Him with my very best. To know who He truly is and weep for my destitution and sinful ways. To love the Lord with all abandon and care not what the world around me thinks as I throw myself upon His feet. To serve Him daily and keep my focus upon Him and Him alone. This became my prayer, to be like her to love like this.

And more...

"Our Daily Bread" for November 6, Someone has said, "What the caterpillar thinks is the end of life, the butterfly thinks is just the beginning." -Cindy Hess Kasper.

She was referring to Philippians 1:21, For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

I also had an opportunity to do some reading in "My Utmost for His Highest" today. I read November 5-7, and they spoke to me. I want to remember, so here are parts of them:

If you are going to be used by God, He will take you through a number of experiences that are not meant for you personally at all. They are designed to make you useful in His hands, and to enable you to understand what takes place in the lives of others....God’s way is always the way of suffering— the way of the "long road home."...We never realize at the time what God is putting us through— we go through it more or less without understanding. Then suddenly we come to a place of enlightenment, and realize— "God has strengthened me and I didn’t even know it!"

Is Jesus teaching you to have a personal intimacy with Himself? Allow Him to drive His question home to you— "Do you believe this?" Are you facing an area of doubt in your life? Have you come, like Martha, to a crossroads of overwhelming circumstances where your theology is about to become a very personal belief? This happens only when a personal problem brings the awareness of our personal need. To believe is to commit.

God by His providence brings you into circumstances that you can’t understand at all, but the Spirit of God understands. God brings you to places, among people, and into certain conditions to accomplish a definite purpose through the intercession of the Spirit in you. Never put yourself in front of your circumstances and say, "I’m going to be my own providence here; I will watch this closely, or protect myself from that." All your circumstances are in the hand of God, and therefore you don’t ever have to think they are unnatural or unique. Your part in intercessory prayer is not to agonize over how to intercede, but to use the everyday circumstances and people God puts around you by His providence to bring them before His throne, and to allow the Spirit in you the opportunity to intercede for them. In this way God is going to touch the whole world with His saints....Your intercessions can never be mine, and my intercessions can never be yours, ". . . but the Spirit Himself makes intercession" in each of our lives ( Romans 8:26 ). And without that intercession, the lives of others would be left in poverty and in ruin.

Call it Four Fold

Ok, so I sit in the general session this morning and the speaker uses Matthew 5 as his scripture reference for his talk. I just couldn't believe it.

His point was that we live in a Radically Changing World and we need to focus on four things.

1. Understand that we need GOD and instill that understanding.
2. God called us to be Salt and Light in this place.
3. We need to be disciples and make disciples.
4. We WILL face a Spiritual battle/war.

My Philosophy class was great, now I have to read 5 books and write a 6 page paper in order to get it as a credit for my ACSI certification.

What I will share from that is that we need to BE REAL in LIVING LIFE. We need to have a Passion FOR TRUTH and a Passion to DO the TRUTH.

And HE does it again....

...as I sat in my Bible course that I am taking at the ACSI Teacher's Conference, GOD once again used the caterpillar and the butterfly.

I open my book,"The Miracle of Life Change" by Chip Ingram, the first session began with:

Butterflies don't look like caterpillars. Unless we've watched the time-consuming and agonizing process that the worm undergoes to become lighter than air, we would probably doubt anyone who told us that caterpillars become butterflies...unless we trusted that person. A crawler becomes a flyer? That much change sounds incredible. Almost as incredible as people changing.

Ask most people and they'll probably agree it's easier to identify with the caterpillar than the butterfly. We dream about butterfly freedom but wake up in wormy captivity. And yet the dreams may be a hint of what we're designed to experience. What if the One who put that dream of change in you had already made it possible for your dream to become a reality.

I knew without a doubt that I was suppose to be sitting all day in that room taking that class and then return for an extra two hour session tonight (which only those of us in this class have to do extra).

I am not understanding why this idea of the caterpillar and the butterfly keep coming up? But I got to add that I got alot out of this class. It was truly refreshing and filled me up. I am looking forward to what tomorrow will hold. I have to take a philosophy class.