Today is all about me.... that is because it is my Birthday!!!! And what a day it has been...
Started right after midnight when two good friends called to let me know it was my Birthday. And it just continued to be good.... loved getting different messages when someone had posted something on my facebook wall... but,
...the best part was a phone call while having breakfast with a friend whom I share this day with. I think the part that made this good was the way my eyes lit up and the warm fuzzy feeling I got in my heart.... should actually have made my broken heart ache.... but, my heart glowed with His light and the only word I can think of to describe it is Hope!!
Anyways that said, I just feel so much Love and this bold kind of confidence that I have never ever experienced before. I can't explain it, and if I tried who knows what others would think of the thoughts I've been having.
I Know what I would have liked to have for my Birthday, but.... all I can do is Hope and Wait upon the Lord. Daddy God knows my heart really really well and Knows at this particular moment I WANT and NEED to be still before HIM and Listen to HIS voice. I NEED SILENCE.... yes, you read that right.... may be a hard thing for me to achieve, but Daddy GOD knows. HE knows too that though I would have liked something else for my Birthday, I am completely happy with the way it played out throughout the day.
I want to share the prayer in "every woman, every day" by Shannon Ethridge for today:
As much as I'm able to love someone I can't see or touch, Jesus, I love You. I know You are real. I know You are here with me and even within me, but I have to admit sometimes I just want someone with skin on to love and love me back.
Forgive me for feeling that You aren't enough, Jesus. Would You let me feel Your touch? Would You let me know Your heart intimately? Would You help me hear Your voice? Be enough for me, Lord. Help me be satisfied in You.
The only part I may change is that I DO KNOW HE is enough.... I am satisfied with HIM.... and the truth is I don't just want someone with skin on to love and love me back.... Daddy GOD and I KNOW who I WANT as that someone... I think he has already stolen my heart, just wish he could give me his!!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saturday, May 29, 2010
Moments...
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Seems like while I'm ALWAYS seeking, worshiping, and trusting Him I am thanking Him, but the moments for praising in reference to the above only happen briefly in order that every quiet difficult painful moment can be gotten through. At least this seems true in my life.
Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.
Seems like while I'm ALWAYS seeking, worshiping, and trusting Him I am thanking Him, but the moments for praising in reference to the above only happen briefly in order that every quiet difficult painful moment can be gotten through. At least this seems true in my life.
Friday, May 28, 2010
Please!!!!
God, at this moment in time.... this gotta be different than the past.... Please, oh please make it different. Draw me to You! How can I have this Peace in my heart going one way and yet reality is saying something different. Saying this moment in time, this situation is just gonna end the same!! BUT, I feel a peace about something else..... confusion is NOT from you DADDY GOD! Lord, my cry and prayer is to see you, feel you, hear you, know you... Right Now. Let us Rest in your arms.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
WIN ME-WIN ALL
"God Calling" for May 20
You will conquer. The conquering spirit is never crushed. Keep a brave and trusting heart. Face all your difficulities in the spirit of Conquest. Rise to greater heights than you have known before. Remember where I am is Victory. Forces of evil, within and without you, flee at My Presence. Win Me and all is won. All.
Just a little hug from GOD, what comfort the words gave. TRUSTING HIM and trying to rest in HIS Love, Peace, and Victory!
You will conquer. The conquering spirit is never crushed. Keep a brave and trusting heart. Face all your difficulities in the spirit of Conquest. Rise to greater heights than you have known before. Remember where I am is Victory. Forces of evil, within and without you, flee at My Presence. Win Me and all is won. All.
Just a little hug from GOD, what comfort the words gave. TRUSTING HIM and trying to rest in HIS Love, Peace, and Victory!
Monday, May 17, 2010
Snare of Speculation....
Have you ever felt that snare of speculation? Has that imagination of yours run wild? Mine is right now, though it is hard to not let it. Everything that is happening and surrounding me seems so familiar. A place I seem to have been several times in my life before and I'm letting one thought turn into a huge thing. It's running rampant. My heart and mouth want to keep saying God is in control. He has a plan and all is gonna work out. I keep telling myself to TRUST HIM, but my head is entertaining every thought, speculation, and my imagination is on full force. Which in turn is giving the enemy of my life the opporturnity to speak little words... of course allowing myself to get caught in the snare of speculation. And to doubt and fear.
I spent some time reading tonight..... I LOVE how GOD speaks so much through that (though it wasn't the Bible, but a couple of other books: "God Calling" by AJ Russell and "Walking with God" by John Eldredge)
I asked for Prayer earlier tonight by emailing some close friends, because I was obviously praying myself and drawing close to God but needed a little more.... "God Calling" titled Pray and Praise said:
"I will be much entreated because I know that only in that earnest supplication, and the calm trust that results, does man learn Strength and gain Peace... Never weary in prayer... Prayer changes all... Pray until you almost cease to pray, because trust has become so rock like, and then pray on because it has become so much a habit that you cannot resist it.... And always pray until Prayer merges into Praise... It is the Love and Laughter of your attitude towards man interpreted in the Prayer and Praise of your attitude towards God."
Only typed the parts that spoke to me. Tomorrows is titled Sorrow To Joy!
I then go on to read a bit in "Walking with God". The first little section was titled: Give Them to Me..... about giving people over to God in prayer.... the next section was titled: The Snare of Speculation. Which of course is about our imagination,
"Another word for this is speculation. Entertaining possibilities, such as, I could get mouth cancer or This plane could go down. My imagination has all the restraint of a wild horse. The speculation thing was happening a lot in my relationships."
John Eldridge goes on to give numerous examples of this and then writes:
"This speculation is devastating to relationships, and mine was running rampant."..... hmmm, I stopped there and have another page to read before going to sleep.... but, had to write. Felt like God was telling me that my imagination/speculation was running rampant and getting the best of me too.... that I was giving the enemy an opportunity in.... but, also reminding me that I couldn't fight alone so I reached out to three wonderful, amazing friends who I knew would Give me to Him in prayer....
Praisin Jesus and knowing He does Love me so much.... after all He blessed my life with so many wonderful people who love me and care so much about me. Friends who truly hurt when I hurt.
I went on to read:
"If you begin to introduce uncertainty into your soul with the search for something wrong there, under the conviction something's wrong, well guess what- you'll soon find yourself distress, because something is worng. What's wrong is that you're no longer trusting God. You've move out of the restful posture of faith and assurance, and that is wrong. ...My obsesing has brought only distress, and Satan the opportunist has used it time and time again. I have to bring my imagination under the rule of God, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit."
That's right where I'm at tonight, but DON'T want to be there..... I'm fighting my own mind and yet it is so hard because this place I "FEEL" I'm at and in is so familar that it is hard to believe that it won't end the same. Maybe that is because it may be easier if it does. So I feel caught in the snare of speculating that this too will end the same as they always do, but that is letting that imagination that God gave me run wild and rampant. Don't I TRUST HIM? I know I do and I know He has a wonderful plan for me and has already blessed my life in so many ways and continues to..... Give me to HIM!
I spent some time reading tonight..... I LOVE how GOD speaks so much through that (though it wasn't the Bible, but a couple of other books: "God Calling" by AJ Russell and "Walking with God" by John Eldredge)
I asked for Prayer earlier tonight by emailing some close friends, because I was obviously praying myself and drawing close to God but needed a little more.... "God Calling" titled Pray and Praise said:
"I will be much entreated because I know that only in that earnest supplication, and the calm trust that results, does man learn Strength and gain Peace... Never weary in prayer... Prayer changes all... Pray until you almost cease to pray, because trust has become so rock like, and then pray on because it has become so much a habit that you cannot resist it.... And always pray until Prayer merges into Praise... It is the Love and Laughter of your attitude towards man interpreted in the Prayer and Praise of your attitude towards God."
Only typed the parts that spoke to me. Tomorrows is titled Sorrow To Joy!
I then go on to read a bit in "Walking with God". The first little section was titled: Give Them to Me..... about giving people over to God in prayer.... the next section was titled: The Snare of Speculation. Which of course is about our imagination,
"Another word for this is speculation. Entertaining possibilities, such as, I could get mouth cancer or This plane could go down. My imagination has all the restraint of a wild horse. The speculation thing was happening a lot in my relationships."
John Eldridge goes on to give numerous examples of this and then writes:
"This speculation is devastating to relationships, and mine was running rampant."..... hmmm, I stopped there and have another page to read before going to sleep.... but, had to write. Felt like God was telling me that my imagination/speculation was running rampant and getting the best of me too.... that I was giving the enemy an opportunity in.... but, also reminding me that I couldn't fight alone so I reached out to three wonderful, amazing friends who I knew would Give me to Him in prayer....
Praisin Jesus and knowing He does Love me so much.... after all He blessed my life with so many wonderful people who love me and care so much about me. Friends who truly hurt when I hurt.
I went on to read:
"If you begin to introduce uncertainty into your soul with the search for something wrong there, under the conviction something's wrong, well guess what- you'll soon find yourself distress, because something is worng. What's wrong is that you're no longer trusting God. You've move out of the restful posture of faith and assurance, and that is wrong. ...My obsesing has brought only distress, and Satan the opportunist has used it time and time again. I have to bring my imagination under the rule of God, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit."
That's right where I'm at tonight, but DON'T want to be there..... I'm fighting my own mind and yet it is so hard because this place I "FEEL" I'm at and in is so familar that it is hard to believe that it won't end the same. Maybe that is because it may be easier if it does. So I feel caught in the snare of speculating that this too will end the same as they always do, but that is letting that imagination that God gave me run wild and rampant. Don't I TRUST HIM? I know I do and I know He has a wonderful plan for me and has already blessed my life in so many ways and continues to..... Give me to HIM!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Close... Get... Live...
I should be asleep, but I read this in "God Calling" by AJ Russell for May 12 and just had to share it:
"Turn out all thoughts of doubt and of trouble. Never tolerate them for one second. Bar the windows and doors of your souls against them as you would bar your home against a thief who would steal in to take your treasures. What greater treasures can you have than Peace and Rest and Joy? And these are all stolen from you by doubt and fear and despair. Face each day with Love and Laughter. Face the storm. Joy, Peace, Love, My great gifts. Follow Me to find all three. I want you to feel the thrill of protection and safety now. Any soul can feel this in a harbor, but real joy and victory come to those alone who sense these when they ride a storm. Say, 'All is well.' Say it not as a vain repetition. Use it as you use a healing balm for cut or wound, until the poison is drawn out; then, until the sore is healed; then, until the thrill of fresh life floods your being. All is well."
Funny thing is I remember this one when I was in Korea.... though it was only the 'all is well'..... God spoke then with a friend sending me the words to the song after I had read this while the song actually played in the background. Just LOVE the way GOD continues to speak through it.... and LOVE the hugs, reminding me that I AM EXACTLY WHERE I'M SUPPOSE TO BE AT THE MOMENT!!
I feel I NEVER write any more and yet GOD truly has spoken so many different times at exact moments and I feel soo sooo soooo much is going on in my life that needs to be written here, or at least in my journal (which hasn't really been written in since I was in Korea).... that is just so sad. I even noticed on here with blogging that I have five different entries that have been started where GOD was speaking but I just didn't have the time to go back and finish them or use the Daily Bread and God Calling entries that spoke to me.... NOW I don't even know if I know why they touched me, but I'll keep those drafts in the draft/entry log through Blogger that only I see with the title I gave them.... for that at least gives me an idea that GOD was talking at the time, I just didn't take the time to share those thoughts and words and get them down. They go all the way back to October of 2009...
REALLY excited to finally be living life to the fullest again. Just gotta finish up this LAST project for Grad School and I'll have my Masters. It was fun walking and celebrating Graduation last weekend with close friends and some of the women I went through it all with.
I wanna LIVE, LOVE, and LAUGH again like I was created to do. Oh yeah, that reminds me of what I read in the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan for Bible Study on May 12. I finished the last two pages right before going and it opened my heart to experience GOD throughout the whole night. The only thing that wasn't great about the night was losing a phone call with someone I LOVE talking too.... hard sharing what GOD was and is doing with someone you care deeply about and then get cut off but, I guess there is a reason for everything.... Just TRUSTIN GOD.
Anyways, here is what the last paragraph in the book had written and what made me cry because I was moved by GOD and exactly what I LONG to do again with 100% of who I am.
"Now close this book. Get on your knees before our holy, loving God. And then live the life with your friends, your family, parents, spouse, children, neighbors, enemies, and strangers that He has created and empowered you through the Holy Spirit to live. May you be able to say at the end of your life, along with Paul, 'I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.' ~2 Timothy 4:7-8 (ESV)"
"Turn out all thoughts of doubt and of trouble. Never tolerate them for one second. Bar the windows and doors of your souls against them as you would bar your home against a thief who would steal in to take your treasures. What greater treasures can you have than Peace and Rest and Joy? And these are all stolen from you by doubt and fear and despair. Face each day with Love and Laughter. Face the storm. Joy, Peace, Love, My great gifts. Follow Me to find all three. I want you to feel the thrill of protection and safety now. Any soul can feel this in a harbor, but real joy and victory come to those alone who sense these when they ride a storm. Say, 'All is well.' Say it not as a vain repetition. Use it as you use a healing balm for cut or wound, until the poison is drawn out; then, until the sore is healed; then, until the thrill of fresh life floods your being. All is well."
Funny thing is I remember this one when I was in Korea.... though it was only the 'all is well'..... God spoke then with a friend sending me the words to the song after I had read this while the song actually played in the background. Just LOVE the way GOD continues to speak through it.... and LOVE the hugs, reminding me that I AM EXACTLY WHERE I'M SUPPOSE TO BE AT THE MOMENT!!
I feel I NEVER write any more and yet GOD truly has spoken so many different times at exact moments and I feel soo sooo soooo much is going on in my life that needs to be written here, or at least in my journal (which hasn't really been written in since I was in Korea).... that is just so sad. I even noticed on here with blogging that I have five different entries that have been started where GOD was speaking but I just didn't have the time to go back and finish them or use the Daily Bread and God Calling entries that spoke to me.... NOW I don't even know if I know why they touched me, but I'll keep those drafts in the draft/entry log through Blogger that only I see with the title I gave them.... for that at least gives me an idea that GOD was talking at the time, I just didn't take the time to share those thoughts and words and get them down. They go all the way back to October of 2009...
REALLY excited to finally be living life to the fullest again. Just gotta finish up this LAST project for Grad School and I'll have my Masters. It was fun walking and celebrating Graduation last weekend with close friends and some of the women I went through it all with.
I wanna LIVE, LOVE, and LAUGH again like I was created to do. Oh yeah, that reminds me of what I read in the book "Crazy Love" by Francis Chan for Bible Study on May 12. I finished the last two pages right before going and it opened my heart to experience GOD throughout the whole night. The only thing that wasn't great about the night was losing a phone call with someone I LOVE talking too.... hard sharing what GOD was and is doing with someone you care deeply about and then get cut off but, I guess there is a reason for everything.... Just TRUSTIN GOD.
Anyways, here is what the last paragraph in the book had written and what made me cry because I was moved by GOD and exactly what I LONG to do again with 100% of who I am.
"Now close this book. Get on your knees before our holy, loving God. And then live the life with your friends, your family, parents, spouse, children, neighbors, enemies, and strangers that He has created and empowered you through the Holy Spirit to live. May you be able to say at the end of your life, along with Paul, 'I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that Day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.' ~2 Timothy 4:7-8 (ESV)"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)