Snare of Speculation....

Have you ever felt that snare of speculation? Has that imagination of yours run wild? Mine is right now, though it is hard to not let it. Everything that is happening and surrounding me seems so familiar. A place I seem to have been several times in my life before and I'm letting one thought turn into a huge thing. It's running rampant. My heart and mouth want to keep saying God is in control. He has a plan and all is gonna work out. I keep telling myself to TRUST HIM, but my head is entertaining every thought, speculation, and my imagination is on full force. Which in turn is giving the enemy of my life the opporturnity to speak little words... of course allowing myself to get caught in the snare of speculation. And to doubt and fear.

I spent some time reading tonight..... I LOVE how GOD speaks so much through that (though it wasn't the Bible, but a couple of other books: "God Calling" by AJ Russell and "Walking with God" by John Eldredge)

I asked for Prayer earlier tonight by emailing some close friends, because I was obviously praying myself and drawing close to God but needed a little more.... "God Calling" titled Pray and Praise said:
"I will be much entreated because I know that only in that earnest supplication, and the calm trust that results, does man learn Strength and gain Peace... Never weary in prayer... Prayer changes all... Pray until you almost cease to pray, because trust has become so rock like, and then pray on because it has become so much a habit that you cannot resist it.... And always pray until Prayer merges into Praise... It is the Love and Laughter of your attitude towards man interpreted in the Prayer and Praise of your attitude towards God."

Only typed the parts that spoke to me. Tomorrows is titled Sorrow To Joy!

I then go on to read a bit in "Walking with God". The first little section was titled: Give Them to Me..... about giving people over to God in prayer.... the next section was titled: The Snare of Speculation. Which of course is about our imagination,
"Another word for this is speculation. Entertaining possibilities, such as, I could get mouth cancer or This plane could go down. My imagination has all the restraint of a wild horse. The speculation thing was happening a lot in my relationships."

John Eldridge goes on to give numerous examples of this and then writes:
"This speculation is devastating to relationships, and mine was running rampant."..... hmmm, I stopped there and have another page to read before going to sleep.... but, had to write. Felt like God was telling me that my imagination/speculation was running rampant and getting the best of me too.... that I was giving the enemy an opportunity in.... but, also reminding me that I couldn't fight alone so I reached out to three wonderful, amazing friends who I knew would Give me to Him in prayer....

Praisin Jesus and knowing He does Love me so much.... after all He blessed my life with so many wonderful people who love me and care so much about me. Friends who truly hurt when I hurt.

I went on to read:
"If you begin to introduce uncertainty into your soul with the search for something wrong there, under the conviction something's wrong, well guess what- you'll soon find yourself distress, because something is worng. What's wrong is that you're no longer trusting God. You've move out of the restful posture of faith and assurance, and that is wrong. ...My obsesing has brought only distress, and Satan the opportunist has used it time and time again. I have to bring my imagination under the rule of God, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit."

That's right where I'm at tonight, but DON'T want to be there..... I'm fighting my own mind and yet it is so hard because this place I "FEEL" I'm at and in is so familar that it is hard to believe that it won't end the same. Maybe that is because it may be easier if it does. So I feel caught in the snare of speculating that this too will end the same as they always do, but that is letting that imagination that God gave me run wild and rampant. Don't I TRUST HIM? I know I do and I know He has a wonderful plan for me and has already blessed my life in so many ways and continues to..... Give me to HIM!