God moving and confirming

I wish I could tell you that it has been an exciting and calming journey since saying yes to CCS in Seoul. However, my emotions have been up and down like a roller coaster. One of my best, yet hardest, conversations that was the most encouraging actually took place the night I said yes. Presently, I actually really miss talking with that friend.

Anyways, the book I was reading at the time this was all happening was "Faithful Women and their Extraordinary God" by Noel Piper. It was about five women and their walk with God (again, thank you sooo much Erin for sharing this book with me). The first woman was Sarah Edwards, the only really God part here was the days I read it my 4th grade class was studying the Great Awakening in History. And well Jonathan Edwards, husband to Sarah, was a main part of that. So God gave me some added information to share with my class. The next,Lilias Trotter, was 34 years old back in the late 1800s, early 1900s when she went alone to the mission field in Africa. This part touch my heart, heck I'll be 37 and going alone, but with much support and prayer. Then came one of my favorite women and her story, Gladys Alyward and her amazing story in China. I had already known about her story, but reading at the time all this was going on was so God and so comforting. The third, lady was Esther Ahn Kim, whom was from Korea. And then lastly, Helen Roseveare and her faith and prayer. I wish I could share the notes I took from the pages, but then this would become super long. You just have to trust me when I say that God pretty much spoke through each and every page. He encouraged, calmed my fears, so spoke right to my heart on almost every page I read. It was perfect timing.

The next book I picked up to read was given to me by Karen(my step-mom) for Christmas. And once again it is perfect timing for reading. It is called "Seizing your Divine Moment" by Erwin McManus. I think the name has been changed now to "Chasing Daylight". Because of me reading this book and all the opposition and physical things happening in my life right now it is so clear that this book is really taking me somewhere I have not yet been. I friend said when she read it she went under some pretty heavy spiritual warfare, and I can tell you that it has been happening to me since I picked the book up and opened the first page. But bring it on, I know God is speaking to me and just confirming over and over that I am going to where He is leading me. Maybe He hasn't been able to bless me in the way He would want because He has been waiting for me to seize this moment. Someone asked me if I feel I missed out and haven't been bless because I waited to go. I don't think I missed out, I think it is finally time to go so God can take me even further. If I would have gone before now, I would have missed all the moments I have had over the past 9 years. I would not have grown or been blessed and touched by those of you who have been a part of my journey so far. I can't imagine you all not being in my life for either the reason, season, or lifetime God choose you to be in my life.

Ok, back to the book and the weekend that really caused me to think about starting this online journal now so that I would not miss any of the moments God has placed before me. Plus, now when they happen I won't have to go back and fill them in, I can just write them fresh from the experience and not as long either. I know you're all saying 'Praise the Lord' on that one. I know I tend to go on and on, but there is just so much to say and tell about. I know that is because God keeps doing so much.

It was Saturday, April 22, and I could not get to sleep that night. So I decided to read and I kept on reading. I was in Chapter 3 of my book called "Uncertainty" and I think I finally put it down and went to bed about 2:30 in the morning. I had to get up early the next day for church because I had a rental car and needed to take it back. (See my car had been not running and a friend let me borrow a truck of theirs- that broke down too and I had no idea what I was going to do about a car until I left for Korea. I asked many to pray for a miracle and it happened, an amazing friend offered a Ford Explorer to me to drive until I left for Korea. However, we were faced with a challenge at first with the car that is why I had to rent a car in order to get to work. What an amazing gift God and this friend have provided. One less thing to worry about and one more way God has confirmed this journey is His!) My friends were going to get me for church and while I waited I read another section of chapter 3.

Sunday morning worship through singing was good. We sang a song that I had learned for my mission trip to the Ukraine. I had been trying to remember it in that language numerous times prior to this Sunday but to no avail. However, I really felt God's presence this morning when I was able to sing the verse I knew in another language as everyone else sang it in English.

Then it was time for the message, wow....I could not believe how everything that was being said went right along perfectly with what I had read the night before. I knew at that moment why I could not sleep and that God kept me awake in order for me to read what I had. I just kept smiling inside. Then at one point in the message the speaker said something that made the person sitting behind me who knew what was going on in my life reach up and touch me. And then my friends I was with did the same next to me and were looking at me. I knew they were thinking that the speaker was talking about me and that God was speaking to me at that moment. I could not look at them, for they had NO IDEA how much I was being spoken too and if I would have acknowledged them I would have really laughed out loud in the middle of the message. I was amused with God, I smiled with a joy I had not yet experienced. The message was fantastic and if you'd like to hear it yourself, you can go to www.pathwayschurch.org and look at 'learn' on the homepage and then 'sunday teachings online' and then go to the message from April 23,2006. Allyson and I talked about it after church and I told her all of what I just wrote. We both agreed that God was speaking loudly and just confirming again in my heart that this is His journey for me and Him leading me exactly where I am suppose be. It once again in my life may not be where I want to go or what I want to be happening, but Praise God it is what and where He wants and that I am willing to be obedient.

There have been so many other little moments that have been just a little of what I just shared, but all ways that God just keeps giving me confirmation in my heart and the peace I was looking for. I know that I only summarized what and how I was effected that weekend and I know if you go and listen to the message you will say wow he was talking about her. But that is why I began writing now, if God does anything else like this I can write it down right away. If you have began to read this and will continue to read this then Thank You for sharing in this adventure and journey with me. May God bless you with Christ's abundant love as you seize each and every moment He has for you.