As I am driving home from class with my heart aching in so many ways, yet not really knowing why. I can't stop crying right now... I feel empty and alone, yet knew I had to come home and finish some entries that I have started....to let my heart be poured out...for when I am here writing it is usually when I have met the RISEN CHRIST in something.... I saw GOD clearly.... I know it is a place where I meet HIM and am with HIM, yet aren't I always in that place...
All I know is I was crying out...repeatedly calling out that beautiful wonderful name: JESUS...JESUS...JESUS. HE is all I NEED, and ALL I WANT, Nothing else I could ever desire can compare to HIM. I only want to GLORIFY HIM...yet, I fail constantly at it.
And though I KNOW HE is here with me right now at this moment...I want to feel HIM, and I can't, the noises inside are so loud....I keep calling JESUS, do I not feel HIM, because I have an expectation to how I want to meet HIM in this moment....'cause I KNOW as soon as I speak those words, JESUS...HE is right here, but since HE lives in my heart....HE is ALWAYS here.
In this moment, I HURT sooo much and truthfully as I have written earlier.... I feel more alone right now than I ever did in Korea.
I am thankful for Klove....The two songs that were on when I was crying out the most to GOD in the car were:
"Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me and "Call My Name" by Third Day
I KNOW HE came when I called HIS Name.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Love...
...ALWAYS requires a sacrifice!
This stood out from the message in church this morning... we have been reading in 1 John.
I think of last week...so if you want love in your life, you have to make a choice and act. But now remember, that Love will always require a sacrifice.
Wow, as I am writing this I went to an old Bible on my book shelf to look up verses in 1 John....but what I found in the back of this old Bible, was notes from a sermon at some point long ago in my life and well deserves mention here. What I have written, but don't know when it was written and not complete is this:
1 Tim vs. 5-6
-Love is a commitment (NOT a feeling)
Luke 22
-Commitment to what?
to being Genuine to each other(BE REAL)
Ps. 139:17
-To Giving unconditionally
1 Corth. 13
True Success What we give
+Love is a commitment to being genuine and giving unconditionally.
Seriously, that was very interesting in finding while writing about LOVE ALWAYS REQUIRES A SACRIFICE.
Hmmm.....is all I can say.
Also want to share these from "GOD CALLING":
Wonderful Life
I am your Lord. Lord of your lives, Controller of your days, your present and your future. Leave all plans to Me. Only act as I bid you.
You have entered now, both of you, upon the God-guided life. Think what that means. God-taught, God-guided.
Is anything too wonderful for such a life? Do you begin to see how wonderful life with Me can be? Do you see that no evil can befall you?
Forget-Forgive
Our Lord, we thank Thee for so much.
We bless Thee and praise Thy Glorious Name.
Fill your world with Love and laughter. Never mind what anguish lies behind you.
Forget, Forgive, Love, and Laugh.
Treat all as you would treat Me, with Love and consideration.
Let nothing that others do to you alter your treatment of them.
My Consolation
O Jesus, come and walk with us and let us feel Thy very nearness.
I walk with you. Oh! think, My children, not only to guide and comfort you and strengthen and uphold, but for solace and comfort for Myself.
When a loving child is by you is the nearness only that you may provide protection and help for that little one?
Rather, too, that in that little child you may find joy and cheer and comfort in its simplicity, its Love, its trust.
So, too, is it in your power to comfort and bring joy to My Heart.
This stood out from the message in church this morning... we have been reading in 1 John.
I think of last week...so if you want love in your life, you have to make a choice and act. But now remember, that Love will always require a sacrifice.
Wow, as I am writing this I went to an old Bible on my book shelf to look up verses in 1 John....but what I found in the back of this old Bible, was notes from a sermon at some point long ago in my life and well deserves mention here. What I have written, but don't know when it was written and not complete is this:
1 Tim vs. 5-6
-Love is a commitment (NOT a feeling)
Luke 22
-Commitment to what?
to being Genuine to each other(BE REAL)
Ps. 139:17
-To Giving unconditionally
1 Corth. 13
True Success What we give
+Love is a commitment to being genuine and giving unconditionally.
Seriously, that was very interesting in finding while writing about LOVE ALWAYS REQUIRES A SACRIFICE.
Hmmm.....is all I can say.
Also want to share these from "GOD CALLING":
Wonderful Life
I am your Lord. Lord of your lives, Controller of your days, your present and your future. Leave all plans to Me. Only act as I bid you.
You have entered now, both of you, upon the God-guided life. Think what that means. God-taught, God-guided.
Is anything too wonderful for such a life? Do you begin to see how wonderful life with Me can be? Do you see that no evil can befall you?
Forget-Forgive
Our Lord, we thank Thee for so much.
We bless Thee and praise Thy Glorious Name.
Fill your world with Love and laughter. Never mind what anguish lies behind you.
Forget, Forgive, Love, and Laugh.
Treat all as you would treat Me, with Love and consideration.
Let nothing that others do to you alter your treatment of them.
My Consolation
O Jesus, come and walk with us and let us feel Thy very nearness.
I walk with you. Oh! think, My children, not only to guide and comfort you and strengthen and uphold, but for solace and comfort for Myself.
When a loving child is by you is the nearness only that you may provide protection and help for that little one?
Rather, too, that in that little child you may find joy and cheer and comfort in its simplicity, its Love, its trust.
So, too, is it in your power to comfort and bring joy to My Heart.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Memory Alone?
Today I felt more alone than I ever have in a long time....it may be because of all the undue stress I am placing on myself and feeling at the moment.
Whatever the cause all I know is that I have felt much more alone in returning from Korea than I ever did while I was in Korea.
Then today, I remembered so vivid something my high school guidance counselor said when I came back after graduation to get some advice. She had said that she had been doing her job for many years, yet had never seen someone as popular as I was, yet more alone walking through the halls than anyone else she had ever seen. She said it always perplexed her.
That is the way I feel today....popular, known by many....yet, feeling so alone. As if I am journeying through this life by myself with only GOD as my guide. And I do know that HE is all I want and all I need. But I am suppose to be journeying down the path in community with others.
Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
This was in "Living the Message" yesterday:
A beech tree in winter, white
Intricacies unconcealed
Against sky blue and billowed
Clouds, carries in his emptiness
Ripeness; sap ready to rise
On signal, buds alert to burst
To leaf. And then after a season
Of summer a lean ring to remember
The lush fulfilled promises.
Empty again in wise poverty
That lets the reaching branches stretch
A millimeter more towards heaven,
The bole expands ever so slightly
And push roots into the firm
Foundation, lucky to be leafless:
Deciduous reminder to let it go.
[Jesus said,]"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." Matthew 5:3
And this one was in "Living the Message" today:
Flash floods of tears, torrents of them,
Erode cruel canyons, exposing
Long forgotten strata of live
Laid down in the peaceful decades:
A badlands beauty. The same sun
That decorates each day with colors
From arroyos and mesas, also shows
Every old scar and cut of lament.
Weeping washes the wounds clean
And leaves them to heal, which always
Takes an age or two. No pain
Is ugly in past tense. Under
The Mercy every hurt is a fossil
Link in the great chain of becoming.
Pick and shovel prayers often
Turn them up in valleys of death.
[Jesus said,]"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." Matthew 5:4
Whatever the cause all I know is that I have felt much more alone in returning from Korea than I ever did while I was in Korea.
Then today, I remembered so vivid something my high school guidance counselor said when I came back after graduation to get some advice. She had said that she had been doing her job for many years, yet had never seen someone as popular as I was, yet more alone walking through the halls than anyone else she had ever seen. She said it always perplexed her.
That is the way I feel today....popular, known by many....yet, feeling so alone. As if I am journeying through this life by myself with only GOD as my guide. And I do know that HE is all I want and all I need. But I am suppose to be journeying down the path in community with others.
Genesis 2:18 The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
This was in "Living the Message" yesterday:
A beech tree in winter, white
Intricacies unconcealed
Against sky blue and billowed
Clouds, carries in his emptiness
Ripeness; sap ready to rise
On signal, buds alert to burst
To leaf. And then after a season
Of summer a lean ring to remember
The lush fulfilled promises.
Empty again in wise poverty
That lets the reaching branches stretch
A millimeter more towards heaven,
The bole expands ever so slightly
And push roots into the firm
Foundation, lucky to be leafless:
Deciduous reminder to let it go.
[Jesus said,]"You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule." Matthew 5:3
And this one was in "Living the Message" today:
Flash floods of tears, torrents of them,
Erode cruel canyons, exposing
Long forgotten strata of live
Laid down in the peaceful decades:
A badlands beauty. The same sun
That decorates each day with colors
From arroyos and mesas, also shows
Every old scar and cut of lament.
Weeping washes the wounds clean
And leaves them to heal, which always
Takes an age or two. No pain
Is ugly in past tense. Under
The Mercy every hurt is a fossil
Link in the great chain of becoming.
Pick and shovel prayers often
Turn them up in valleys of death.
[Jesus said,]"You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you." Matthew 5:4
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
One Chair
I have noticed numerous times while out walking Kong, a patio with only ONE rocking chair, or a table with only ONE chair around it.
That makes me sad and reminds me of a good friend, who on her anniversary collects pictures of TWO Chairs. Her and her husband, say that when all the kids are gone, it will still come down to two chairs, one of each of them. I loved that when she shared it with me.
So in seeing these places with only one chair made me a little sad...and then I felt alone, but I KNOW for me that if I do stay single the rest of my life...and that I don't have a partner to sit on the porch in our two rocking chairs with, that I will still always have TWO CHAIRS...
ONE for me and ONE for GOD, who is my Everything.... I will NEVER have only ONE CHAIR, whether rocking chairs on a porch or sitting around a little bistro table...
Always, TWO...even if I remain single. Yep, ONE Chair for me and ONE Chair for GOD...for HE is always welcome at my table and on my porch...For is always in my heart.
That makes me sad and reminds me of a good friend, who on her anniversary collects pictures of TWO Chairs. Her and her husband, say that when all the kids are gone, it will still come down to two chairs, one of each of them. I loved that when she shared it with me.
So in seeing these places with only one chair made me a little sad...and then I felt alone, but I KNOW for me that if I do stay single the rest of my life...and that I don't have a partner to sit on the porch in our two rocking chairs with, that I will still always have TWO CHAIRS...
ONE for me and ONE for GOD, who is my Everything.... I will NEVER have only ONE CHAIR, whether rocking chairs on a porch or sitting around a little bistro table...
Always, TWO...even if I remain single. Yep, ONE Chair for me and ONE Chair for GOD...for HE is always welcome at my table and on my porch...For is always in my heart.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Looking from the Edge
As I am reading a book for my Multicultural class this poem struck me in many ways... so wanted to share it:
Looking From The Edge
by Elizabeth Capifali
on 10-12-94
As I stand on the periphery of life around me
I ask myself, do I not deserve to partake of the sweetness of this land?
I've asked myself this question ever since I was a child,
But, a HAND always kept me at a safe distance.
"DO NOT TRESPASS" always seemed to be the message.
I have leaped into the enveloping arms of life waiting for me and I am Living!
Still, hands try to hold me back, but I am stronger no,
I push them aside and say, "Let me in."
Looking From The Edge
by Elizabeth Capifali
on 10-12-94
As I stand on the periphery of life around me
I ask myself, do I not deserve to partake of the sweetness of this land?
I've asked myself this question ever since I was a child,
But, a HAND always kept me at a safe distance.
"DO NOT TRESPASS" always seemed to be the message.
I have leaped into the enveloping arms of life waiting for me and I am Living!
Still, hands try to hold me back, but I am stronger no,
I push them aside and say, "Let me in."
Choose and Act
I am trying very hard to focus on my homework, but all that is on my mind is a statement from the message at church this morning....
IF YOU WANT LOVE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE AND ACT!!
How true is that...I know many people who only will walk into something or choose to act if they know things will work out, but with love....especially loving GOD... well, it is about making a choice and then acting upon it. HE gives us a choice whether or not to live a life surrendered to HIM.
I think that could be true in many things, for me when I was deciding to go to Korea I was pleading with GOD to give me peace so that I knew where HE wanted to guide me, but what I realized was that HE wanted me to make a choice and act on it....Then, HE brought the peace and rest I was so desiring.
Funny, but I think "GOD CALLING" goes along with this statement above:
My Standard
Carry out My Commands and leave the result to Me. Do this as obediently and faithfully as you would expect a child to follow out a given rule in the working of a sum, with no question but that, if the working out is done according to command, the result will be right.
Remember that the commands I have given you have been already worked out by Me in the Spirit World to produce in your case, and in your circumstances, the required result. So follow My rules faithfully.
Realize that herein lies the perfection of Divine Guidance. To follow a rule laid down, even by Earth;s wisest, might lead to disaster.
The knowledge of you individual life and character, capability, circumstances, and temptations must be, to some extent, lacking, but to follow My direct Guidance means to carry out instructions given with a full knowledge of you and the required result.
Each individual was meant to walk with Me in this way, to act under Divine control, strengthened by Divine Power.
Have I not taught you to love simplicity? No matter what the world may thing, Earth's aims and intrigues are not for you. Oh! My children, learn of Me. Simplicity brings rest. True rest and Power.
To the world foolishness, maybe, but to Me a foretaste of Divinity.
1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
Yep, IF YOU WANT LOVE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE AND ACT!!
IF YOU WANT LOVE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE AND ACT!!
How true is that...I know many people who only will walk into something or choose to act if they know things will work out, but with love....especially loving GOD... well, it is about making a choice and then acting upon it. HE gives us a choice whether or not to live a life surrendered to HIM.
I think that could be true in many things, for me when I was deciding to go to Korea I was pleading with GOD to give me peace so that I knew where HE wanted to guide me, but what I realized was that HE wanted me to make a choice and act on it....Then, HE brought the peace and rest I was so desiring.
Funny, but I think "GOD CALLING" goes along with this statement above:
My Standard
Carry out My Commands and leave the result to Me. Do this as obediently and faithfully as you would expect a child to follow out a given rule in the working of a sum, with no question but that, if the working out is done according to command, the result will be right.
Remember that the commands I have given you have been already worked out by Me in the Spirit World to produce in your case, and in your circumstances, the required result. So follow My rules faithfully.
Realize that herein lies the perfection of Divine Guidance. To follow a rule laid down, even by Earth;s wisest, might lead to disaster.
The knowledge of you individual life and character, capability, circumstances, and temptations must be, to some extent, lacking, but to follow My direct Guidance means to carry out instructions given with a full knowledge of you and the required result.
Each individual was meant to walk with Me in this way, to act under Divine control, strengthened by Divine Power.
Have I not taught you to love simplicity? No matter what the world may thing, Earth's aims and intrigues are not for you. Oh! My children, learn of Me. Simplicity brings rest. True rest and Power.
To the world foolishness, maybe, but to Me a foretaste of Divinity.
1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth."
Yep, IF YOU WANT LOVE, YOU HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE AND ACT!!
Sunday, July 13, 2008
My Big Guy
Ok, I have a love in my life besides GOD, at least for the moment. I have decided to help the Rocky Mountain Great Dane Rescue and here is the guy, Kong, that has captured my heart for at least the moment...
He is HUGE, but so gentle. However, today when I was in class he decided to climb over the deck onto the roof. My condo is on the second floor!! I think I was more shook up than he was, at least when I got home. PRAISE GOD, for awesome neighbors who got him back on to my deck and broke into my home to put him inside. He did pee, but a small price to pay.
So I decided to use the baby gate my neighbor gave me to put him in the kitchen while I am out. However, I am thinking if he climbed over the deck railing, how the heck is a baby gate gonna help him. I decided to walk to the store, I was gone about 20 minutes. When I got home it wasn't the baby gate he climbed over, but he climbed up on the kitchen counters and walked over. Of course, peeing again.
So tonight I had a meeting to go to and thought I would leave him in the bathroom while I was gone. Well, here is what I came home to...
He just came out and hugged me for the longest time when I got home... He just doesn't want to be alone...
I don't blame him, we weren't made to be alone in this journey. We are wired to be in fellowship with GOD and community with others. Adam was alone when GOD was creating things in this beautiful world, so GOD chose to create a suitable helpmate for him....
So if you are out there and you are walking this journey thinking you can do it alone , think again. GOD created us to journey through this life in community.
*Two notes:
1. I can't believe that some of you only came to the blog after reading my email to see the new "guy" in my life...seriously! GOD will break my love life wide open when it is HIS Perfect Timing....until then it is a day at a time TRUSTING HIM and Waiting on HIM and him!
2. I can't even begin to tell you all the rest of the things that Kong has done....but talked to a behaviorist today, July 29, 2008, and I may not be getting him back after his surgeries tomorrow....she said I had already done enough to help this dog and that most would have given him back right at the start. She could not believe, all that I did and how much I still want to do....I laughed, that is just me. I don't give up on people, and will stick through things, even the hardest of things. I know where she was coming from with his separation anxiety and I only want what's best for him, but I don't know if I can say good bye if I have to tomorrow.
He is HUGE, but so gentle. However, today when I was in class he decided to climb over the deck onto the roof. My condo is on the second floor!! I think I was more shook up than he was, at least when I got home. PRAISE GOD, for awesome neighbors who got him back on to my deck and broke into my home to put him inside. He did pee, but a small price to pay.
So I decided to use the baby gate my neighbor gave me to put him in the kitchen while I am out. However, I am thinking if he climbed over the deck railing, how the heck is a baby gate gonna help him. I decided to walk to the store, I was gone about 20 minutes. When I got home it wasn't the baby gate he climbed over, but he climbed up on the kitchen counters and walked over. Of course, peeing again.
So tonight I had a meeting to go to and thought I would leave him in the bathroom while I was gone. Well, here is what I came home to...
He just came out and hugged me for the longest time when I got home... He just doesn't want to be alone...
I don't blame him, we weren't made to be alone in this journey. We are wired to be in fellowship with GOD and community with others. Adam was alone when GOD was creating things in this beautiful world, so GOD chose to create a suitable helpmate for him....
So if you are out there and you are walking this journey thinking you can do it alone , think again. GOD created us to journey through this life in community.
*Two notes:
1. I can't believe that some of you only came to the blog after reading my email to see the new "guy" in my life...seriously! GOD will break my love life wide open when it is HIS Perfect Timing....until then it is a day at a time TRUSTING HIM and Waiting on HIM and him!
2. I can't even begin to tell you all the rest of the things that Kong has done....but talked to a behaviorist today, July 29, 2008, and I may not be getting him back after his surgeries tomorrow....she said I had already done enough to help this dog and that most would have given him back right at the start. She could not believe, all that I did and how much I still want to do....I laughed, that is just me. I don't give up on people, and will stick through things, even the hardest of things. I know where she was coming from with his separation anxiety and I only want what's best for him, but I don't know if I can say good bye if I have to tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Finishing up...
I want to continue to share, in no particular order, some of the things that struck me when finishing up "The Pressure's Off"...
Your soul, the real you that you've nearly lost sight of beneath all the posturing and busyness, lies empty, alone, bored. It could be different. You know that. It's suppose to be different. You know that, too.
Don't live the Old Way. If you value the blessings of life over communion with GOD, you'll end up miserable. Guaranteed! But if you live the New Way, if you draw near to GOD, not to exploit HIS power but to enjoy fellowship with HIM, then HE'll supply everything you need to participate in furthering HIS agenda. Guaranteed! And you'll know HIS Joy, the Joy HE experiences in the fellowship of the Trinity.
You long to involved in a few relationships where you can be
known in loving safety,
explored with genuine interest,
discovered by hopeful wisdom, and
touched from the source of spiritual power.
When trouble comes, our first thing focus must be on entering GOD's presence (encounter), participating with others on the journey to GOD (community), and cooperating with the Spirit in forming CHRIST in us (transformation).
I wanted to...
encounter God, to fellowship with each member of the Trinity, to join Their party.
participate in community with other broken, desperate, grateful saints who, stunned by grace, were journeying toward God, unwilling to settle for lesser joy.
experience transformation, to be spiritually formed until others, but especially the Father, could see in me an actual resemblance to Jesus.
Whether my passion for GOD became compelling in this or any moment is up to the Spirit. It's a sovereign work of grace. All I can do is want it and wait.
We must learn to understand what is meant by; attending to GOD (where HE is going), abandoning ourselves to GOD (following wherever HE leads), and union with GOD (enjoying HIM on the journey). We must realize what GOD is doing whenever HE withholds blessings we legitimately desire: HE is pursuing HIS agenda. HE will be with a people who value HIM above every other blessing. HE will create that people at the cost of HIS Son's death and at the cost of being hurt every day by children who really don't want HIM except to use HIM. HE is allowing good dreams to shatter to arouse the better dream of knowing HIM.
Still looking down the narrow path, I could see the sunrise of my transformation. I knew that by the Spirit's power, someday, in this life, I could be
still loving, though discouraged,
still giving, though spent,
still patient, though exasperated,
still sensitive, though offended,
still hopeful, though worn down by life.
It's all about GOD and HIS Glory and our satisfaction in HIM.
I pray that the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has, by the riches of his grace, brought us from a state of enmity into his glorious fellowship with himself, may give you such a taste of his sweetness and excellence in this communion as to be stirred up to a greater longing for that eternal enjoyment of him in eternal glory.
Your soul, the real you that you've nearly lost sight of beneath all the posturing and busyness, lies empty, alone, bored. It could be different. You know that. It's suppose to be different. You know that, too.
Don't live the Old Way. If you value the blessings of life over communion with GOD, you'll end up miserable. Guaranteed! But if you live the New Way, if you draw near to GOD, not to exploit HIS power but to enjoy fellowship with HIM, then HE'll supply everything you need to participate in furthering HIS agenda. Guaranteed! And you'll know HIS Joy, the Joy HE experiences in the fellowship of the Trinity.
You long to involved in a few relationships where you can be
known in loving safety,
explored with genuine interest,
discovered by hopeful wisdom, and
touched from the source of spiritual power.
When trouble comes, our first thing focus must be on entering GOD's presence (encounter), participating with others on the journey to GOD (community), and cooperating with the Spirit in forming CHRIST in us (transformation).
I wanted to...
encounter God, to fellowship with each member of the Trinity, to join Their party.
participate in community with other broken, desperate, grateful saints who, stunned by grace, were journeying toward God, unwilling to settle for lesser joy.
experience transformation, to be spiritually formed until others, but especially the Father, could see in me an actual resemblance to Jesus.
Whether my passion for GOD became compelling in this or any moment is up to the Spirit. It's a sovereign work of grace. All I can do is want it and wait.
We must learn to understand what is meant by; attending to GOD (where HE is going), abandoning ourselves to GOD (following wherever HE leads), and union with GOD (enjoying HIM on the journey). We must realize what GOD is doing whenever HE withholds blessings we legitimately desire: HE is pursuing HIS agenda. HE will be with a people who value HIM above every other blessing. HE will create that people at the cost of HIS Son's death and at the cost of being hurt every day by children who really don't want HIM except to use HIM. HE is allowing good dreams to shatter to arouse the better dream of knowing HIM.
Still looking down the narrow path, I could see the sunrise of my transformation. I knew that by the Spirit's power, someday, in this life, I could be
still loving, though discouraged,
still giving, though spent,
still patient, though exasperated,
still sensitive, though offended,
still hopeful, though worn down by life.
It's all about GOD and HIS Glory and our satisfaction in HIM.
I pray that the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who has, by the riches of his grace, brought us from a state of enmity into his glorious fellowship with himself, may give you such a taste of his sweetness and excellence in this communion as to be stirred up to a greater longing for that eternal enjoyment of him in eternal glory.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
As Always...
...I am spending time with GOD... just praying and talking to HIM today. Wanting HIM and only HIM, wanting to draw closer to HIM and only HIM... wanting nothing less than HIM, not even HIS Blessings and I decide to go and read my utmost for His highest...and as always HE meets me there and speaks through the words I am reading.
July 8, 2008
Will To Be Faithful
. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . .
—Joshua 24:15
A person’s will is embodied in the actions of the whole person. I cannot give up my will— I must exercise it, putting it into action. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God’s Spirit. When God gives me a vision of truth, there is never a question of what He will do, but only of what I will do. The Lord has been placing in front of each of us some big proposals and plans. The best thing to do is to remember what you did before when you were touched by God. Recall the moment when you were saved, or first recognized Jesus, or realized some truth. It was easy then to yield your allegiance to God. Immediately recall those moments each time the Spirit of God brings some new proposal before you.
". . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. . . ." Your choice must be a deliberate determination— it is not something into which you will automatically drift. And everything else in your life will be held in temporary suspension until you make a decision. The proposal is between you and God— do not "confer with flesh and blood" about it ( Galatians 1:16 ). With every new proposal, the people around us seem to become more and more isolated, and that is where the tension develops. God allows the opinion of His other saints to matter to you, and yet you become less and less certain that others really understand the step you are taking. You have no business trying to find out where God is leading— the only thing God will explain to you is Himself.
Openly declare to Him, "I will be faithful." But remember that as soon as you choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ, "You are witnesses against yourselves . . ." ( Joshua 24:22 ). Don’t consult with other Christians, but simply and freely declare before Him, "I will serve You." Will to be faithful— and give other people credit for being faithful too.
It always amazes me when I just read something and experience a moment with HIM in it. Those moments are never the same and reminds me just how wonderful GOD is, and I realize how much HE Loves me... and not just me, but everyone.
Today I was pondering a message that a high school classmate of mine wrote with a question and an observation on her part. She said she thought I had the world at my feet in high school.... I was pretty and popular, oh and can't forget that I was a cheerleader (like that really makes somebody something) and then I had a tragedy happen in my family... and now she sees that I have done a one eighty and have given my life to 'the calling' as she put it. It just reminded me that the world sees things so much different than GOD does. Having the world at my feet is like wanting only blessings from GOD and not GOD for who HE is. Which goes along with what I have been reading in Larry Crabb's book "The Pressure's Off." So I was struck again how GOD speaks a theme through so many parts of my life.
Yet, as I finished reading this particular book today, I found myself struggling with the fact that I continually find myself smacked in the face with someone else having something in my life that I was suppose to have... heck, I know I heard GOD's voice and yet they have what I thought was going to be mine. And that's when the words from what I have been reading hit me so hard in the face.... I was living the old way that Crabb continued to write about. This journey is not about living a life full of blessings, it is about wanting nothing less than GOD. Crabb writes that we have a choice, "Either we can keep asking HIM to give us what we think will make us happy- to escape our dark room and run to the playground of blessings- or we can accept HIS invitation to sit with HIM, for now perhaps in darkness, and to seize the opportunity to know HIM better and present HIM well in this difficult world."
Though in my heart I was saying HE was enough... I was still living like HE owed me something for following HIM, especially to Korea. That if I loved HIM enough and obeyed then the blessings would come. The blessing should have been mine... but, I am willing to follow HIM with or with out the blessing... You betcha!!
Wow, that is pressure for sure, but it is not what I want or where my heart truly is. Anyone, who knows me and has walked even a part of the journey with me at some point knows that I am not perfect... but in my heart I always come back to wanting the same thing, MORE of HIM and only HIM. No matter if my life is going good, or things seem pretty yucky... it comes down to being all about HIM...WANTING to be with HIM no matter my circumstances, WANTING to cry: Let me just Know YOU, LORD and Serve YOU!! After all for me knowing HIM and being in HIS presence is all that I want and is the BIGGEST, HUGEST BLESSING EVER!
July 8, 2008
Will To Be Faithful
. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . .
—Joshua 24:15
A person’s will is embodied in the actions of the whole person. I cannot give up my will— I must exercise it, putting it into action. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God’s Spirit. When God gives me a vision of truth, there is never a question of what He will do, but only of what I will do. The Lord has been placing in front of each of us some big proposals and plans. The best thing to do is to remember what you did before when you were touched by God. Recall the moment when you were saved, or first recognized Jesus, or realized some truth. It was easy then to yield your allegiance to God. Immediately recall those moments each time the Spirit of God brings some new proposal before you.
". . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. . . ." Your choice must be a deliberate determination— it is not something into which you will automatically drift. And everything else in your life will be held in temporary suspension until you make a decision. The proposal is between you and God— do not "confer with flesh and blood" about it ( Galatians 1:16 ). With every new proposal, the people around us seem to become more and more isolated, and that is where the tension develops. God allows the opinion of His other saints to matter to you, and yet you become less and less certain that others really understand the step you are taking. You have no business trying to find out where God is leading— the only thing God will explain to you is Himself.
Openly declare to Him, "I will be faithful." But remember that as soon as you choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ, "You are witnesses against yourselves . . ." ( Joshua 24:22 ). Don’t consult with other Christians, but simply and freely declare before Him, "I will serve You." Will to be faithful— and give other people credit for being faithful too.
It always amazes me when I just read something and experience a moment with HIM in it. Those moments are never the same and reminds me just how wonderful GOD is, and I realize how much HE Loves me... and not just me, but everyone.
Today I was pondering a message that a high school classmate of mine wrote with a question and an observation on her part. She said she thought I had the world at my feet in high school.... I was pretty and popular, oh and can't forget that I was a cheerleader (like that really makes somebody something) and then I had a tragedy happen in my family... and now she sees that I have done a one eighty and have given my life to 'the calling' as she put it. It just reminded me that the world sees things so much different than GOD does. Having the world at my feet is like wanting only blessings from GOD and not GOD for who HE is. Which goes along with what I have been reading in Larry Crabb's book "The Pressure's Off." So I was struck again how GOD speaks a theme through so many parts of my life.
Yet, as I finished reading this particular book today, I found myself struggling with the fact that I continually find myself smacked in the face with someone else having something in my life that I was suppose to have... heck, I know I heard GOD's voice and yet they have what I thought was going to be mine. And that's when the words from what I have been reading hit me so hard in the face.... I was living the old way that Crabb continued to write about. This journey is not about living a life full of blessings, it is about wanting nothing less than GOD. Crabb writes that we have a choice, "Either we can keep asking HIM to give us what we think will make us happy- to escape our dark room and run to the playground of blessings- or we can accept HIS invitation to sit with HIM, for now perhaps in darkness, and to seize the opportunity to know HIM better and present HIM well in this difficult world."
Though in my heart I was saying HE was enough... I was still living like HE owed me something for following HIM, especially to Korea. That if I loved HIM enough and obeyed then the blessings would come. The blessing should have been mine... but, I am willing to follow HIM with or with out the blessing... You betcha!!
Wow, that is pressure for sure, but it is not what I want or where my heart truly is. Anyone, who knows me and has walked even a part of the journey with me at some point knows that I am not perfect... but in my heart I always come back to wanting the same thing, MORE of HIM and only HIM. No matter if my life is going good, or things seem pretty yucky... it comes down to being all about HIM...WANTING to be with HIM no matter my circumstances, WANTING to cry: Let me just Know YOU, LORD and Serve YOU!! After all for me knowing HIM and being in HIS presence is all that I want and is the BIGGEST, HUGEST BLESSING EVER!
Thursday, July 03, 2008
The Sunset...
Last night I wish I could have captured the view I had of the sunset...
Wow, is all I can say about the picture from GOD I saw.
Most of the sky was dark because it looked like storms, but right over the mountain range was a little clear, blue sky patch. The sun's reflection made a reddish, golden color in the sky....
But what was the most amazing was the clouds over the mountain with the golden light upon it was in the shape of a cross.
All I could do was smile at how awesome, magnificent, glorious, overwhelming, amazing,..... GOD is!!
Everyday HE paints such a Gloriously Magnificent picture for all of us to see in the things around us if only we would take the time to notice them....
This picture in the middle of the sunset was just soooo much more and a huge Hug from GOD.... Oh the beauty HE brings to everything.
Wow, is all I can say about the picture from GOD I saw.
Most of the sky was dark because it looked like storms, but right over the mountain range was a little clear, blue sky patch. The sun's reflection made a reddish, golden color in the sky....
But what was the most amazing was the clouds over the mountain with the golden light upon it was in the shape of a cross.
All I could do was smile at how awesome, magnificent, glorious, overwhelming, amazing,..... GOD is!!
Everyday HE paints such a Gloriously Magnificent picture for all of us to see in the things around us if only we would take the time to notice them....
This picture in the middle of the sunset was just soooo much more and a huge Hug from GOD.... Oh the beauty HE brings to everything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)