As I am driving home from class with my heart aching in so many ways, yet not really knowing why. I can't stop crying right now... I feel empty and alone, yet knew I had to come home and finish some entries that I have started....to let my heart be poured out...for when I am here writing it is usually when I have met the RISEN CHRIST in something.... I saw GOD clearly.... I know it is a place where I meet HIM and am with HIM, yet aren't I always in that place...
All I know is I was crying out...repeatedly calling out that beautiful wonderful name: JESUS...JESUS...JESUS. HE is all I NEED, and ALL I WANT, Nothing else I could ever desire can compare to HIM. I only want to GLORIFY HIM...yet, I fail constantly at it.
And though I KNOW HE is here with me right now at this moment...I want to feel HIM, and I can't, the noises inside are so loud....I keep calling JESUS, do I not feel HIM, because I have an expectation to how I want to meet HIM in this moment....'cause I KNOW as soon as I speak those words, JESUS...HE is right here, but since HE lives in my heart....HE is ALWAYS here.
In this moment, I HURT sooo much and truthfully as I have written earlier.... I feel more alone right now than I ever did in Korea.
I am thankful for Klove....The two songs that were on when I was crying out the most to GOD in the car were:
"Bring the Rain" by Mercy Me and "Call My Name" by Third Day
I KNOW HE came when I called HIS Name.
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