As Always...

...I am spending time with GOD... just praying and talking to HIM today. Wanting HIM and only HIM, wanting to draw closer to HIM and only HIM... wanting nothing less than HIM, not even HIS Blessings and I decide to go and read my utmost for His highest...and as always HE meets me there and speaks through the words I am reading.

July 8, 2008
Will To Be Faithful
. . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve . . .
—Joshua 24:15

A person’s will is embodied in the actions of the whole person. I cannot give up my will— I must exercise it, putting it into action. I must will to obey, and I must will to receive God’s Spirit. When God gives me a vision of truth, there is never a question of what He will do, but only of what I will do. The Lord has been placing in front of each of us some big proposals and plans. The best thing to do is to remember what you did before when you were touched by God. Recall the moment when you were saved, or first recognized Jesus, or realized some truth. It was easy then to yield your allegiance to God. Immediately recall those moments each time the Spirit of God brings some new proposal before you.

". . . choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve. . . ." Your choice must be a deliberate determination— it is not something into which you will automatically drift. And everything else in your life will be held in temporary suspension until you make a decision. The proposal is between you and God— do not "confer with flesh and blood" about it ( Galatians 1:16 ). With every new proposal, the people around us seem to become more and more isolated, and that is where the tension develops. God allows the opinion of His other saints to matter to you, and yet you become less and less certain that others really understand the step you are taking. You have no business trying to find out where God is leading— the only thing God will explain to you is Himself.

Openly declare to Him, "I will be faithful." But remember that as soon as you choose to be faithful to Jesus Christ, "You are witnesses against yourselves . . ." ( Joshua 24:22 ). Don’t consult with other Christians, but simply and freely declare before Him, "I will serve You." Will to be faithful— and give other people credit for being faithful too.

It always amazes me when I just read something and experience a moment with HIM in it. Those moments are never the same and reminds me just how wonderful GOD is, and I realize how much HE Loves me... and not just me, but everyone.

Today I was pondering a message that a high school classmate of mine wrote with a question and an observation on her part. She said she thought I had the world at my feet in high school.... I was pretty and popular, oh and can't forget that I was a cheerleader (like that really makes somebody something) and then I had a tragedy happen in my family... and now she sees that I have done a one eighty and have given my life to 'the calling' as she put it. It just reminded me that the world sees things so much different than GOD does. Having the world at my feet is like wanting only blessings from GOD and not GOD for who HE is. Which goes along with what I have been reading in Larry Crabb's book "The Pressure's Off." So I was struck again how GOD speaks a theme through so many parts of my life.

Yet, as I finished reading this particular book today, I found myself struggling with the fact that I continually find myself smacked in the face with someone else having something in my life that I was suppose to have... heck, I know I heard GOD's voice and yet they have what I thought was going to be mine. And that's when the words from what I have been reading hit me so hard in the face.... I was living the old way that Crabb continued to write about. This journey is not about living a life full of blessings, it is about wanting nothing less than GOD. Crabb writes that we have a choice, "Either we can keep asking HIM to give us what we think will make us happy- to escape our dark room and run to the playground of blessings- or we can accept HIS invitation to sit with HIM, for now perhaps in darkness, and to seize the opportunity to know HIM better and present HIM well in this difficult world."

Though in my heart I was saying HE was enough... I was still living like HE owed me something for following HIM, especially to Korea. That if I loved HIM enough and obeyed then the blessings would come. The blessing should have been mine... but, I am willing to follow HIM with or with out the blessing... You betcha!!

Wow, that is pressure for sure, but it is not what I want or where my heart truly is. Anyone, who knows me and has walked even a part of the journey with me at some point knows that I am not perfect... but in my heart I always come back to wanting the same thing, MORE of HIM and only HIM. No matter if my life is going good, or things seem pretty yucky... it comes down to being all about HIM...WANTING to be with HIM no matter my circumstances, WANTING to cry: Let me just Know YOU, LORD and Serve YOU!! After all for me knowing HIM and being in HIS presence is all that I want and is the BIGGEST, HUGEST BLESSING EVER!