2010 Update

It seems I have sat down numerous times to write and update, but something would come up or if I did write something, my computer would act up and I lost what I wrote. I'm determined to get something written before I go to sleep tonight, no matter how late it is. I know some of you don't even know that I now live in Wyoming!

*Summarized Version: 2010 started with a vanishing act, I was sick, started my final grad project for Masters, teaching license miracle, met someone who put a smile in my heart like no one else ever could, graduated, got my heart broken, began "being still", fought GOD, went to Young Life Camp, heard "jump" more, was presented with phrase: "Waiting with Hope", fought GOD more, completed my finally project and received Master of Education, went on an adventure to Wyoming, ready to go back to Colorado numerous times but GOD kept me in Wyoming, trip to Michigan, job interview in Wyoming, a quick move to Wyoming as of September 1, and then a trip to Michigan for Christmas after over 12 years away..... now to what 2011 holds with starting Young Life.... Read on if you want more details of 2010:

A year ago this same particular weekend GOD brought something into my life that was a wonderful experience and put a smile on my face, and in my heart from about February to May. This time also included a couple of trips to Fort Collins to stay with my friends and my Spring Break in April was spent in Wyoming!!

On May 8, 2010, I walked in graduation ceremonies at Regis University receiving a Masters of Education in Special Education (though I officially did not finish my final project until the end of June, so diploma states July 2010).

Towards the end of May I felt the Lord asking me to take my biggest leap yet, that "jump" I'd been hearing was about going to Wyoming. I was ready to take it, I felt/heard GOD tell me not to sign my contract for the following school year, but something happened that made that leap not make sense to me anymore. So on the LAST day that I had to sign my contract in tears and with very little sleep I signed though I KNEW in my heart I wasn't suppose to, even told GOD I KNEW I was disobeying, but I needed some "security" in my life at the moment... besides HIM.

Then all I heard for the next couple of weeks was "jump".... a friend asked me in mid May to find a way to be "quiet" and wait to hear HIS Voice in order to listen to HIM, to find a way to just sit for 5-10 minutes a day, say and think nothing. As hard as I tried the noise inside my head and heart still seemed to be loud and getting even louder. But, I continued to try. Another friend encouraged me by sharing how she would just repeat "Be still, and know I am God" (Psalm 46:10) when she was trying to be quiet. I DID try..... and I kept fighting GOD with what I heard. Seriously, with a broken heart it made absolutely no sense at all to move to Wyoming.

The beginning of June came and as I was trying to "Be still", well I started a new three month "Our Daily Bread", the front cover had the scripture "Be still, and know I am God" on it..... Little did I know at this time that GOD would continue to speak and move in a powerful way through those next three months. And this was only the start....

While at camp in Arizona... I went to Lost Canyon Camp with some of the high school kids from Delta County Young Life.... Wow, did GOD ever speak to me there. First, GOD kept putting connections on my path.... a Wyoming YL group was at the same camp. One leader was moving to Casper to start YL there, and the other had connections in Sheridan, which is near by. Before I left for camp, I did stop fighting GOD for a moment and inquired about coming up to Wyoming for the rest of the summer. Though ALL through the week I kept hearing "jump"..... it was on the last day, .... for some reason after our last club time I choose to check my email during my quiet time.

An email of encouragement: God's Promises was waiting for me to read, and spoke so loud to me giving me a phrase at the time that I had no idea would come back to me over and over and over again over the past 9 months, and still does.... the phrase was "Waiting with Hope"..... it would take way to long to give ALL the details of that day, but..... needless to say I decided to stop fighting GOD on the matter..... come back from camp and finish up my project in order to be DONE with my Master's Degree. And then head to Wyoming for whatever it was GOD was calling me there for.

I decided to have an adventure and stop fighting HIM. See, hear, feel God in a way I hadn't in a while. I wanted to live, laugh, and love again and not hurt so darn much. I REALLY didn't have any expectations (some hopes).... I wanted to relax and enjoy somewhere different.... and let GOD be GOD in whatever.... I might get there and want to leave shortly after... might want to stay the whole month that I had off,
too. Some of the reason I wanted to go was hope for something to change with someone who put a smile on my face, but to be honest that actually was the reason why I thought I shouldn't go and WHY I was fighting GOD so much. Whether a part or not... I was gonna have an adventure and take every opportunity to experience GOD as if I'd just fallen in love with HIM for the first time! I needed to find what was eluding me from having that Peace that only comes from knowing CHRIST.

And that is exactly what I did.... I came up to Wyoming not knowing what GOD was doing, but I wish I could share and explain every little detail of each moment I was in Wyoming over those five weeks. The times GOD put a scripture reference from someone onto my path that confirmed "waiting with hope" and sometimes "being still..." ...it was so obvious and clear that I was suppose to be in Wyoming, but then I did disobey and sign my contract in Colorado.... so who knew what GOD would do. Every time I felt ready to leave, or that I shouldn't be up in Wyoming, GOD would put a reason, an open door for me to stay a little longer.

In the process of leaving Wyoming to go spend a week in Michigan with my family the beginning of August..... GOD provided a job opening.... I interviewed two days into training for the new school year..... was offered the job and the TRUTH of it is it may have been only a one year position, but it was what GOD was calling me to do so, I took it.... was HONEST.... came up to Wyoming for the two days before classes started.... drove back to Colorado the 1st day of those classes.... turned around and moved up Buffalo in a week.... my official first day in Wyoming was September 1, 2010.... I then started my new position at the Middle School teaching Special Education on the day after Labor Day.

GOD has continued to speak and move in my life since moving up here. There is so much more detail of it all....

I have learned and continue to learn so much about GOD, and about me... and that Peace that only comes from HIM has been found again.... Not sure where it had gone.... But, the biggest lesson learned this past year was concerning LOVE!!!! I've always been afraid that I didn't really know what "love" was.... Something longed for for a long time, yet really didn't know if I was truly capable of that kind of
love in my life. In reflecting back over the past year, I did fall in love.... NEVER thought I could love someone, but I do and I KNOW I can't make him love me back or want me....But, the whole situation has brought my understanding of GOD's Love of us to a whole new level... to a Trust like no other..... it has made my love for GOD and HIS for me seem so much more real and deeper.... if that makes sense?!

The lesson in it is really this... how HE loves us, even when we don't return that love to HIM. I can't explain it and not sure I truly put it in a way to make you all understand. I know I am capable of loving. But, I know with all my heart I can't make him love me back.

And now it is 2011, only GOD knows my fate for the next school year.... since it was ONLY a one year position, but.... I'm not worried because I know GOD has a plan and I'm Trusting HIM. But I do know that in 2011 Young Life is getting started here in Buffalo....that too has it's own story. Wow, can I make it short? I don't think so, you'll just have to trust me that it is really all a part of GOD's plan here for me too. HE has made a way like no other when it comes to this and that started on my second official night in Buffalo.

I'm at Peace, I'm content, I'm loving and laughing and living more than I have in a long time. GOD is doing so much in my life.... I feel a Peace and a Joy like I NEVER have had before.... I'm TRUSTING HIM more than I ever had, which in turn is producing that Peace and Joy..... just can't express the words.... I'm Loving HIM more and more each day.... I'm "Waiting with HOPE"..... that hope that is found only
in, through, and with HIM.....

and it ALL really began a year ago.... with what GOD put, well who GOD put on my path.... I sure am better off because of him and all of it!!

I don't know what HE has in store, but I know I'm exactly where HE wants me to be.... and it is a beautiful beautiful place to be..... And as the theme continues to go in my life.... I'm "being still, and knowing He is God" (Psalm 10:6), while I'm "Waiting with Hope" (Psalm 62:5 and Lamentations 3:24-25 and Habakkuk 2:3)....


"Be still, and Know" while you "Wait with Hope"
Kimie

"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~Helen Keller