Discouragement

I feel so discouraged at the moment in so many things.....I am sure I will write more about it when I can actually sit down and give what is going on the proper time it needs and deserves. Thoughts I have constantly, I wish I could write when I am driving in the car.

But for the moment, I spent my class's break time just reading some online devotions. I really want to draw closer to GOD. I am feeling again like I would give anything to have HIS arms here in the flesh. To just sit on a couch, be held in some one's arms, and just cry......nothing else.

Anyways, I just read "My Utmost for His Highest" for October 13. It said:

We may have the vision of God and a very clear understanding of what God wants, and yet when we start to do it, there comes to us something equivalent to Moses’ forty years in the wilderness. It’s as if God had ignored the entire thing, and when we are thoroughly discouraged, God comes back and revives His call to us. And then we begin to tremble and say, "Who am I that I should go . . . ?"... We are focused on the right individual perspective of things; we have the vision and can say, "I know this is what God wants me to do." But we have not yet learned to get into God’s stride. If you are going through a time of discouragement, there is a time of great personal growth ahead.

That last sentence is actually something I read in something some time ago and I KNOW is written in my Bible.

After writing that, I read another blog. Adrienne so touched my heart with her reference to the trees. It is something I have been noticing and feeling as well lately. Not a day goes by that I don't have some kind of thought or conversation with GOD. I actually wish I could write all those moments here. What I write here is usually only a portion of what I have as thoughts and conversations with GOD. It is such a beautiful time spent with HIM. And so awesome to meet HIM in such an amazing way every day. Even if I do feel like I am in winter right now and not for sure if spring will come again.

Yet, I feel guilty for feeling the way I do. I can't even compare my winter to the winter Noah Steven's family must be in. I can't imagine the loss, grief, healing...they must be going through. If you haven't read that blog in a while, I'd suggest you click on the link in the top right side of my blog and have your heart moved and touched.