Love this prayer from "every woman, every day" by Shannon Ethridge with Stephen Arterburn for today...It is interesting how it continues to go along with my own prayers lately...
Father, thank You for making every woman similar and yet unique in so many ways. Help me be the woman You created me to be. Help me live not to satisfy my physical and emotional longings but to please You in all my thoughts and actions.
We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand. Isaiah 64:8
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Grrr...
It is in moments like these that I don't like being single and wish I had a man in my life. I have three little problems that need to be fixed around my condo, but can't do it without the help of some man's arms.
Normally this would be when you would call upon one of the male single friends you have in your life.... Funny thing is all of mine have disappeared... probably has nothing to due with the fact that they all have girlfriends at the moment... :) Or conveniently have the excuse that they live in another state, but would help me if they were here.
I just feel like there is no one to call upon to help right now in my life. I have some married friends who are male, but they have their own wives and families to take care of.
This is also when I miss not having my Daddy closer or even one of my brothers... they'd be here in a heart beat. Heck the last time my little brother, Kyle, was here staying because of business he ended up fixing my dryer and stuff with the dog I was fostering, Kong, at the time.
Makes me think about the time in college when my Dad and he drove two hours to help me with my car. Mostly because I couldn't fix what I thought was wrong with it and then I also knew more about what was wrong with it than the boys who lived across the hall.... a lot of help they were.
Oh yes, the same things will always happen.... I'll end up finding a way to fix it myself, but it will take about three times as long and I'll shed many a tear doing it crying out to GOD. I promise I won't call my Dad and cry on his shoulder... it just isn't fair to him anymore. After all I am "40" now.
Yep, it is in times like this that I hate being single more than anything else, but is it also times likes this that I hate men as well.... GRRR!!!!
Normally this would be when you would call upon one of the male single friends you have in your life.... Funny thing is all of mine have disappeared... probably has nothing to due with the fact that they all have girlfriends at the moment... :) Or conveniently have the excuse that they live in another state, but would help me if they were here.
I just feel like there is no one to call upon to help right now in my life. I have some married friends who are male, but they have their own wives and families to take care of.
This is also when I miss not having my Daddy closer or even one of my brothers... they'd be here in a heart beat. Heck the last time my little brother, Kyle, was here staying because of business he ended up fixing my dryer and stuff with the dog I was fostering, Kong, at the time.
Makes me think about the time in college when my Dad and he drove two hours to help me with my car. Mostly because I couldn't fix what I thought was wrong with it and then I also knew more about what was wrong with it than the boys who lived across the hall.... a lot of help they were.
Oh yes, the same things will always happen.... I'll end up finding a way to fix it myself, but it will take about three times as long and I'll shed many a tear doing it crying out to GOD. I promise I won't call my Dad and cry on his shoulder... it just isn't fair to him anymore. After all I am "40" now.
Yep, it is in times like this that I hate being single more than anything else, but is it also times likes this that I hate men as well.... GRRR!!!!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Strong...
Funny thing for me is in reflecting what I first told my counselor I wanted, I wanted to gain me back. The me I know GOD created me to be and just recently I have been told and reminded how many times others have said that I am the STRONGEST person they know. I don't feel very strong, but want to again and want to be the person I know I am who takes risks in life. Who lives that phrase I wrote about recently: LIFE IS FOR SHARING. The girl I know who seizes moments and opportunities by living life to the fullest... I've missed her for a very long time now... yet, maybe she has been there still all along. Can I see her the way others do?
A friend recently said: You are a beautiful soul and person. You have tons to give, you just need to find the guy who is STRONG enough to accept what you can give. And I mean a guy who is strong enough
Which made me reflect on an email I received a while back about Apples and Wine (but should be Apples and Grapes)... That said:
Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now men... men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Another friend said:
Kim u are maybe the strongest women i know, and life will sort itself out for you...I know u have faith, and I do in you as well. love you sweety
Another friend emailed:
You're one of the most steadfast lover of God that I know.
And more, a while back I had a conversation with a good friend, who is like a brother... I take his words to heart... he complimented me in a way about being strong and that he never doubted that I had heard GOD's voice in all the decisions I have ever made since he has known me. It brought me to tears.
And then it reminded me of what a good friend wrote to me almost three years ago before I left for Korea:
In spite of your tears that flow freely, you are one of the strongest people I know. Being able to to love others as you do and give of yourself to them as you have, requires great strength. That is because it involves taking a risk. Risks which you freely take knowing there may be painful consequences. It is a genuine reflection of who Christ is and what He has done for us.
Am I really that strong? I know I want to be and I know that I want to take risks and love as the Lord would. To live my life as a reflection of HIM. I have been learning that I am fully Known, fully Loved, and Fear NO Rejection with HIM... so I want to live my life on Purpose, with Passion. To be humble enough to have HIM be who works in and through and around me. I want to be the GIFT HE has created me to be to others... I don't want to walk in this fear anymore... the biggest is the fear of rejection and disappointment. I've allowed those fears and disappointments to dictate my life so much over the past couple of years... but I am excited about the new beginning the LORD is giving me and about the opportunities that are ahead for me. LORD give me this strength that so many others see in me. I do know that I am that Apple at the top of the tree and that it will take someone strong enough to reach me, but strong enough to accept me. Oh, and what a gift that will be.
Thanks for these reminders. We're getting there aren't we, LORD?!
A friend recently said: You are a beautiful soul and person. You have tons to give, you just need to find the guy who is STRONG enough to accept what you can give. And I mean a guy who is strong enough
Which made me reflect on an email I received a while back about Apples and Wine (but should be Apples and Grapes)... That said:
Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now men... men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
Another friend said:
Kim u are maybe the strongest women i know, and life will sort itself out for you...I know u have faith, and I do in you as well. love you sweety
Another friend emailed:
You're one of the most steadfast lover of God that I know.
And more, a while back I had a conversation with a good friend, who is like a brother... I take his words to heart... he complimented me in a way about being strong and that he never doubted that I had heard GOD's voice in all the decisions I have ever made since he has known me. It brought me to tears.
And then it reminded me of what a good friend wrote to me almost three years ago before I left for Korea:
In spite of your tears that flow freely, you are one of the strongest people I know. Being able to to love others as you do and give of yourself to them as you have, requires great strength. That is because it involves taking a risk. Risks which you freely take knowing there may be painful consequences. It is a genuine reflection of who Christ is and what He has done for us.
Am I really that strong? I know I want to be and I know that I want to take risks and love as the Lord would. To live my life as a reflection of HIM. I have been learning that I am fully Known, fully Loved, and Fear NO Rejection with HIM... so I want to live my life on Purpose, with Passion. To be humble enough to have HIM be who works in and through and around me. I want to be the GIFT HE has created me to be to others... I don't want to walk in this fear anymore... the biggest is the fear of rejection and disappointment. I've allowed those fears and disappointments to dictate my life so much over the past couple of years... but I am excited about the new beginning the LORD is giving me and about the opportunities that are ahead for me. LORD give me this strength that so many others see in me. I do know that I am that Apple at the top of the tree and that it will take someone strong enough to reach me, but strong enough to accept me. Oh, and what a gift that will be.
Thanks for these reminders. We're getting there aren't we, LORD?!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Cookies Speak
Over the past few days I have heard GOD speaking in numerous ways with numerous things that are on my mind and heart, and it began with fortune cookies... yet, ends with the most perfect prayer for today!
On Thursday night after my home check visit for adopting Murray I ordered Chinese. There is just so much going on in my life at the moment with moving to Cedaredge and getting Murray... well, I've been praying a lot and about a lot of things. And found it interesting that as I was talking with GOD I opened up two fortune cookies and they said:
YOU WILL BE CALLED UPON TO CELEBRATE SOME GOOD NEWS (funny thing was the next day I found out I was approved to get Murray) and...
YOUR PRESENT PLANS ARE GOING TO SUCCEED (hmmm... felt the whole move thing was in this one)....
Love hearing GOD speak, especially when they come through unexpected things that are without doubt from HIM.
I had decided to sign up for eHarmony one more time. So I paid for a months membership... it was two weeks before my birthday and would be ending about two weeks after. I figured that the last two men I met through there whom I got to know were exactly what I have been looking for in a future partner... and well, they both were introduced to me through eHarmony, so why not try again. However, I had decided if nothing came of it I was gonna close my account completely for good this time. After all I have been on it since 2002 and have had well over 400 matches... and I'm still single.
Anyway, back to GOD speaking. Thursday and Friday I had really been praying about whether I should really close it or not... after all maybe a third great match would come along (figured Third Times a Charm, or either Three Strikes and your Out), but as I was praying that night the entry in "every women, every day", began with Internet relationships can be misleading.....and ended with In real relationships with real people, you see the whole package- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I felt like it was my confirmation to close it for good. Though I am grateful that GOD used eHarmony to be the introduction to some pretty amazing men.... obviously it wasn't the tool for me... but, I did always look at it as a means to meet people I would have otherwise NEVER met. I am truly thankful and don't believe it was an accident that I met who I did. GOD used each and every one... and I have gained some pretty awesome guy friends from the time on it.... It's just finally time to be done!!
Then on Saturday, I was questioning GOD if I was really hearing HIM again. If the thoughts I was having in so many things were from HIM. I wanted so badly to Trust, but at times my flesh keeps getting in the way. I don't even know if I have truly reflected upon the things that GOD has been giving me and showing me lately... but, some of them have made me question my own heart and mind about hearing HIM.... and then GOD CALLING by AJ Russell answered those questions:
Titled: GOD-INSPIRED
You have entered now upon a mountain climb.... Looking to Me all your thoughts are God-inspired. Act on them and you will be led on. They are not your own impulses but the movement of My Spirit and, obeyed, will bring the answer to your prayers. Love and Trust...
Wow, HE is speaking again in my life loud and clear and I just need to Love and Trust. I can't wait to share this all with my counselor....
But, today topped it all off with this prayer entry in "every women, every day"
Lord, I don't understand why waiting is such an impossible thing for me. Time appears to plow ahead, and the changes I long for seem like distant dreams, whispers of possibility, but far from present reality. Help me understand that in the waiting I am living my questions one day at a time. In living the questions, I can be assured of learning much more about Your nature than instant answers or change will offer me. Please give me patience and faith. Like the rolling of the unending tide, Father, I pray that You will continue to come upon me, restoring my faith and granting me greater patience for the journey.
On Thursday night after my home check visit for adopting Murray I ordered Chinese. There is just so much going on in my life at the moment with moving to Cedaredge and getting Murray... well, I've been praying a lot and about a lot of things. And found it interesting that as I was talking with GOD I opened up two fortune cookies and they said:
YOU WILL BE CALLED UPON TO CELEBRATE SOME GOOD NEWS (funny thing was the next day I found out I was approved to get Murray) and...
YOUR PRESENT PLANS ARE GOING TO SUCCEED (hmmm... felt the whole move thing was in this one)....
Love hearing GOD speak, especially when they come through unexpected things that are without doubt from HIM.
I had decided to sign up for eHarmony one more time. So I paid for a months membership... it was two weeks before my birthday and would be ending about two weeks after. I figured that the last two men I met through there whom I got to know were exactly what I have been looking for in a future partner... and well, they both were introduced to me through eHarmony, so why not try again. However, I had decided if nothing came of it I was gonna close my account completely for good this time. After all I have been on it since 2002 and have had well over 400 matches... and I'm still single.
Anyway, back to GOD speaking. Thursday and Friday I had really been praying about whether I should really close it or not... after all maybe a third great match would come along (figured Third Times a Charm, or either Three Strikes and your Out), but as I was praying that night the entry in "every women, every day", began with Internet relationships can be misleading.....and ended with In real relationships with real people, you see the whole package- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I felt like it was my confirmation to close it for good. Though I am grateful that GOD used eHarmony to be the introduction to some pretty amazing men.... obviously it wasn't the tool for me... but, I did always look at it as a means to meet people I would have otherwise NEVER met. I am truly thankful and don't believe it was an accident that I met who I did. GOD used each and every one... and I have gained some pretty awesome guy friends from the time on it.... It's just finally time to be done!!
Then on Saturday, I was questioning GOD if I was really hearing HIM again. If the thoughts I was having in so many things were from HIM. I wanted so badly to Trust, but at times my flesh keeps getting in the way. I don't even know if I have truly reflected upon the things that GOD has been giving me and showing me lately... but, some of them have made me question my own heart and mind about hearing HIM.... and then GOD CALLING by AJ Russell answered those questions:
Titled: GOD-INSPIRED
You have entered now upon a mountain climb.... Looking to Me all your thoughts are God-inspired. Act on them and you will be led on. They are not your own impulses but the movement of My Spirit and, obeyed, will bring the answer to your prayers. Love and Trust...
Wow, HE is speaking again in my life loud and clear and I just need to Love and Trust. I can't wait to share this all with my counselor....
But, today topped it all off with this prayer entry in "every women, every day"
Lord, I don't understand why waiting is such an impossible thing for me. Time appears to plow ahead, and the changes I long for seem like distant dreams, whispers of possibility, but far from present reality. Help me understand that in the waiting I am living my questions one day at a time. In living the questions, I can be assured of learning much more about Your nature than instant answers or change will offer me. Please give me patience and faith. Like the rolling of the unending tide, Father, I pray that You will continue to come upon me, restoring my faith and granting me greater patience for the journey.
Friday, June 12, 2009
Head over heels....
I'm in love and we haven't even met face to face yet.... though he seems perfect and exactly what I've been wanting and looking for....
Though, the last couple of times I thought this exact same thing my heart got broken....
Hmmm... don't think this guy will do that!!
Here"s a picture of him, Murray:
Looking like this coming Thursday or following Saturday will be the day I get to bring this guy home with me to live forever....
Yep, I fell in love with just one look, no actually it took a second glance.... I know he is gonna win my heart and bring me so much joy and love....
Wow, I'm adopting a beautiful sweet heart.... if you're interested check out others at:
Big Dogs Huge Paws
PetFinder
Though, the last couple of times I thought this exact same thing my heart got broken....
Hmmm... don't think this guy will do that!!
Here"s a picture of him, Murray:
Looking like this coming Thursday or following Saturday will be the day I get to bring this guy home with me to live forever....
Yep, I fell in love with just one look, no actually it took a second glance.... I know he is gonna win my heart and bring me so much joy and love....
Wow, I'm adopting a beautiful sweet heart.... if you're interested check out others at:
Big Dogs Huge Paws
PetFinder
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