Strong...

Funny thing for me is in reflecting what I first told my counselor I wanted, I wanted to gain me back. The me I know GOD created me to be and just recently I have been told and reminded how many times others have said that I am the STRONGEST person they know. I don't feel very strong, but want to again and want to be the person I know I am who takes risks in life. Who lives that phrase I wrote about recently: LIFE IS FOR SHARING. The girl I know who seizes moments and opportunities by living life to the fullest... I've missed her for a very long time now... yet, maybe she has been there still all along. Can I see her the way others do?

A friend recently said: You are a beautiful soul and person. You have tons to give, you just need to find the guy who is STRONG enough to accept what you can give. And I mean a guy who is strong enough

Which made me reflect on an email I received a while back about Apples and Wine (but should be Apples and Grapes)... That said:

Apples and Wine
Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.
Now men... men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

Another friend said:
Kim u are maybe the strongest women i know, and life will sort itself out for you...I know u have faith, and I do in you as well. love you sweety

Another friend emailed:
You're one of the most steadfast lover of God that I know.

And more, a while back I had a conversation with a good friend, who is like a brother... I take his words to heart... he complimented me in a way about being strong and that he never doubted that I had heard GOD's voice in all the decisions I have ever made since he has known me. It brought me to tears.

And then it reminded me of what a good friend wrote to me almost three years ago before I left for Korea:
In spite of your tears that flow freely, you are one of the strongest people I know. Being able to to love others as you do and give of yourself to them as you have, requires great strength. That is because it involves taking a risk. Risks which you freely take knowing there may be painful consequences. It is a genuine reflection of who Christ is and what He has done for us.

Am I really that strong? I know I want to be and I know that I want to take risks and love as the Lord would. To live my life as a reflection of HIM. I have been learning that I am fully Known, fully Loved, and Fear NO Rejection with HIM... so I want to live my life on Purpose, with Passion. To be humble enough to have HIM be who works in and through and around me. I want to be the GIFT HE has created me to be to others... I don't want to walk in this fear anymore... the biggest is the fear of rejection and disappointment. I've allowed those fears and disappointments to dictate my life so much over the past couple of years... but I am excited about the new beginning the LORD is giving me and about the opportunities that are ahead for me. LORD give me this strength that so many others see in me. I do know that I am that Apple at the top of the tree and that it will take someone strong enough to reach me, but strong enough to accept me. Oh, and what a gift that will be.

Thanks for these reminders. We're getting there aren't we, LORD?!